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• These lines are well-written: "my deep thoughts...

  Thread: Lonely Roads (2 Replies, 5,723 Views) by pq92k

  
  

  These lines are well-written: "my deep thoughts left my ears cold/not hearing a sound or what’s been spoken"

• The theme is well-executed (no pun intended) and...

  Thread: Murder Generation (2 Replies, 6,330 Views) by pq92k

  
  

  The theme is well-executed (no pun intended) and there is a good use of rhyme. The best lines: "child with a gun an uncanny sight/a man made machine looking for a fight!"

• The chorus is incomplete; the idea is not fully...

  Thread: Mixed Up Life (8 Replies, 5,660 Views) by pq92k

  
  

  The chorus is incomplete; the idea is not fully realized. I would change "Let out all of your emotions" (the third line of the first part) to perhaps "Release the weight" or "Unburden yourself of...

• The verses could be longer so as to add more...

  Thread: I Don't Know (7 Replies, 4,873 Views) by pq92k

  
  

  The verses could be longer so as to add more depth. The bridge falters a bit. The chorus is very catchy.

• I really enjoyed reading this. It is...

  Thread: Cold (1/10/14) (6 Replies, 4,425 Views) by pq92k

  
  

  I really enjoyed reading this. It is well-structured and the flow of words is virtually seamless. The best lines are "So tell me, what exactly is your plan?
  Or are your intentions not meant for me...

• These are solid lyrics. I really like the...

  Thread: Lust and Promise (2 Replies, 4,290 Views) by pq92k

  
  

  These are solid lyrics. I really like the following line: "skin of steel and diamond eyes enticing".

• I am not sure as to how I should respond to the...

  Thread: Learning Curve (5 Replies, 9,481 Views) by pq92k

  
  

  I am not sure as to how I should respond to the following line: "But I lost that privilege like some poor dumb devil." It seems to be a bit out of place.

• The second verse is clichéd and the overall...

  Thread: City Streets (4 Replies, 4,488 Views) by pq92k

  
  

  The second verse is clichéd and the overall structure of the lyrics is too simplistic.

• This is very well-written. I have read it...

  Thread: Untitled (Dear [fill in the blank man]) (2 Replies, 20,407 Views) by pq92k

  
  

  This is very well-written. I have read it multiple times and I love it! The questions you pose are profound and necessary. I have been reading some of your other lyrics, and you come across as being...

• The third verse is the strongest part. This has...

  Thread: Bleed (1 Replies, 3,828 Views) by pq92k

  
  

  The third verse is the strongest part. This has an Evanescence meets Metallica vibe to it.

• This was an interesting read. The first two lines...

  Thread: Fools In Love (1 Replies, 2,326 Views) by pq92k

  
  

  This was an interesting read. The first two lines of the chorus ("We dont build walls around our lovers/Thats for fools in love, for fools in love") are well-written.

• The first two lines are well-written ("You're...

  Thread: Life Is Too Short (5 Replies, 8,280 Views) by pq92k

  
  

  The first two lines are well-written ("You're scared to erase/All the things you couldn't be"). The chorus should be rewritten as it is cliched.

• This type of theme needs a grittier set of lyrics...

  Thread: The Easy Excuse (25 Replies, 10,001 Views) by pq92k

  
  

  This type of theme needs a grittier set of lyrics with a subtle tone. It's a bit too literal. I would suggest reading lyrics written by Arcade Fire to point you in the right direction so you can...

• This has a country music vibe to it. I can...

  Thread: Girl Needs Her Mama Then (2 Replies, 2,667 Views) by pq92k

  
  

  This has a country music vibe to it. I can imagine Carrie Underwood singing this. The second verse is weak and should be re-written. The third verse is strong and completes the lyrics. The last...

• Great flow of words and a catchy chorus. The last...

  Thread: Let Me Go (1 Replies, 10,865 Views) by pq92k

  
  

  Great flow of words and a catchy chorus. The last two lines of the third verse make the lyrics complete ("Here's the simple truth you try to ignore/I do not love you and I never will")

• You have some good life lessons in your lyrics. I...

  Thread: Whatever You Want (1 Replies, 13,396 Views) by pq92k

  
  

  You have some good life lessons in your lyrics. I really enjoyed reading what you wrote. I really like the following lines: "You've got to be forthcoming with your intentions/It starts by being...

• This is an interesting piece you've written. I...

  Thread: Way.Point (3 Replies, 4,689 Views) by pq92k

  
  

  This is an interesting piece you've written. I would suggest condensing it a bit so that the focus is sharpened. Some lines are a bit repetitive. The 8th section is well written. I really like the...

• The bridge is the strongest part while the second...

  Thread: Questions & Answers (1 Replies, 3,503 Views) by pq92k

  
  

  The bridge is the strongest part while the second verse should be rewritten as it is somewhat disconnected from the other sections of your lyrics.

• This is a very interesting way of writing about a...

  Thread: C-u-n-t (2 Replies, 121,549 Views) by pq92k

  
  

  This is a very interesting way of writing about a controversial word. I like the questions you pose because they make you think.

• The second verse is well-written, particularly...

  Thread: My song with mp3 to listen :) (1 Replies, 3,325 Views) by pq92k

  
  

  The second verse is well-written, particularly the second line: "And her slightly opened lips of raspberry hue". Somehow, I sense that you could add more to your lyrics. Draw the reader deeper into...

• I like how you use the theme of death and grief...

  Thread: I'll Say Hello (2 Replies, 2,886 Views) by pq92k

  
  

  I like how you use the theme of death and grief in a creative way. I enjoyed reading your lyrics. The first four lines are great, especially the fourth line; "And as my shadow waves goodbye, to love...

• Once again, a very descriptive set of lyrics. I...

  Thread: Where Is My Angel (1 Replies, 2,895 Views) by pq92k

  
  

  Once again, a very descriptive set of lyrics. I really like the following lines: "I'm stuck in a world where I can't go back and I can't move on,/Trapped in the past with no future to belong"....

• I really like the following lines: "And when we...

  Thread: "One Night" first song review (1 Replies, 2,737 Views) by pq92k

  
  

  I really like the following lines: "And when we get back home/That glistening in your eye/picks up light that no darkness can ever dull"

• These are a good set of lyrics. Very vivid...

  Thread: Goodbye (5 Replies, 3,285 Views) by pq92k

  
  

  These are a good set of lyrics. Very vivid description. I really like the lines "I guess that in my head I'm not what you see/Cos if you saw what I saw you'd try to kill me"

• Overall, I thought this was a decent set of...

  Thread: The Tyrant (5 Replies, 2,208 Views) by pq92k

  
  

  Overall, I thought this was a decent set of lyrics. Perhaps consider combining the second and third verses. I really like the line: "So close to the victory/Your battle is our history"

• Perhaps consider combining the two verses...

  Thread: Long Time (1 Replies, 2,090 Views) by pq92k

  
  

  Perhaps consider combining the two verses together as it allows the thought to be more complete and not rushed; hence the title "Long Time". I really like the bridge and the chorus is well-written. I...

• The verses flow well but the chorus is...

  Thread: Escape the Truth (7 Replies, 3,439 Views) by pq92k

  
  

  The verses flow well but the chorus is uninspiring. I really like the following line: "No one ever dreams /Cause the world is now given /All that it needs"

• This was a fun and pleasant read. You tell an...

  Thread: Girls, Guitars, and Gasoline (17 Replies, 10,700 Views) by pq92k

  
  

  This was a fun and pleasant read. You tell an interesting story and the words flow well from line to line, especially the chorus.

• I like how the bridge (best part of the lyrics)...

  Thread: Downtown (8 Replies, 3,673 Views) by pq92k

  
  

  I like how the bridge (best part of the lyrics) is lengthy and it connects the other parts of the lyrics together. This could be a good slow-burner type of a song. Perhaps consider combining the...

• The following lines are well-written: "Take a...

  Thread: "Reigns" (5 Replies, 4,801 Views) by pq92k

  
  

  The following lines are well-written: "Take a glass of this wisdom/Itll leave you breathless/Hold to your principles, or you’ll die restless" and "Building an empire to rival the colony, Stop being...

• The following are well-written lines: "Quit...

  Thread: Wits and Steel (6 Replies, 4,281 Views) by pq92k

  
  

  The following are well-written lines: "Quit playing, you aint on my level or floor/Aint no elevator to elevate ya much more"; "I don’t carry a gun, don’t need no devices/Potent and fresh as Dunes...

• This is well-written especially lines 5 and 10....

  Thread: Pillamatic (2 Replies, 2,958 Views) by pq92k

  
  

  This is well-written especially lines 5 and 10. You created a good flow of words that paint a vivid picture in the mind. The only line I dislike is the last one.

• Very good use of imagery. The first two lines of...

  Thread: Behold, The End (1 Replies, 1,575 Views) by pq92k

  
  

  Very good use of imagery. The first two lines of the second verse are well-written.

• Simply amazing! Right from the opening section,...

  Thread: MERCY VALENTINE a first song writing effort (4 Replies, 4,180 Views) by pq92k

  
  

  Simply amazing! Right from the opening section, it grabs a hold of you and does not let go. I love the following lines: "Were the years of blood we paid/just another cup of wine" and "Was freedom...

• This is damn good! The story you tell is very...

  Thread: Notes From The Possession (1 Replies, 2,077 Views) by pq92k

  
  

  This is damn good! The story you tell is very vivid and interesting. It's dark, cold, intense and, most importantly, poetic. I love the following line: "He’ll die in those eternal arms/and let her...

• I really enjoyed reading this. You created a very...

  Thread: Wasted (1 Replies, 1,999 Views) by pq92k

  
  

  I really enjoyed reading this. You created a very interesting story which makes the reader think about your lyrics. I love the first line: "Wring the life from your soul as water from a sponge".

• The chorus is not as strong as it could be,...

  Thread: Paper Hearts (1 Replies, 2,557 Views) by pq92k

  
  

  The chorus is not as strong as it could be, particularly the second line ("This is a plea from me to you"). The verses are well-constructed especially the first one. I really like the lines: "Misery...

• These are a good set of lyrics. It is something...

  Thread: Save My Life (5 Replies, 3,614 Views) by pq92k

  
  

  These are a good set of lyrics. It is something that you would hear from The Goo Goo Dolls. I really like this line: "Fool my heart and it will break in two"

• I like this. They remind me of Melissa Etheridge.

  Thread: Is Paris Burning? (3 Replies, 3,058 Views) by pq92k

  
  

  I like this. They remind me of Melissa Etheridge.

• This was a pleasant read. I suggest replacing the...

  Thread: Breathless (7 Replies, 3,655 Views) by pq92k

  
  

  This was a pleasant read. I suggest replacing the word 'punch' in the chorus with something else. Other than that, this was a very good set of lyrics.

• These are very interesting and vivid lyrics....

  Thread: Viktoria (7 Replies, 3,464 Views) by pq92k

  
  

  These are very interesting and vivid lyrics. Right from the start, you get an eye-opening vibe. The ending is simply sublime ("You are in my blood intoxicating me/Tasting it on your fingertips")....

• I really enjoyed reading these set of lyrics. The...

  Thread: Wait for Help (2 Replies, 2,745 Views) by pq92k

  
  

  I really enjoyed reading these set of lyrics. The flow of words you created is like warm, clean water running through my hands on a chilly spring day. The second block of words is very well-written....

• That is for lyricists/songwriters (Bernie Taupin,...

  Thread: Love Me Just A Little (5 Replies, 3,112 Views) by pq92k

  
  

  That is for lyricists/songwriters (Bernie Taupin, Tim Rice etc) who have received critical acclaim, music publishers and other music industry members to decide. This should be not "The Emperor's New...

• The first verse and the chorus were very...

  Thread: When Worlds Collide (17 Replies, 9,936 Views) by pq92k

  
  

  The first verse and the chorus were very enjoyable to read. The second verse and the bridge falters and needs to be re-written. It would be interesting to hear these lyrics put to music.

• I really like the verses of these lyrics. This...

  Thread: They don't see (13 Replies, 3,511 Views) by pq92k

  
  

  I really like the verses of these lyrics. This part is particularly well-written: "What they won't see/is how much we have to fight/just so we can live/this half-life every night".

• Great lines: "There's all of this motivation/But...

  Thread: Hands Of Time (2 Replies, 2,724 Views) by pq92k

  
  

  Great lines: "There's all of this motivation/But not enough creation". Grade: Verse (B+); Chorus (B+)

• Great line: "Full of fire I burn my shame"....

  Thread: Old Wound (2 Replies, 2,563 Views) by pq92k

  
  

  Great line: "Full of fire I burn my shame". Grade: Verse (B+); Chorus (B)

• Very impressed by these lyrics. They remind me of...

  Thread: Bound By Doubt (2 Replies, 2,411 Views) by pq92k

  
  

  Very impressed by these lyrics. They remind me of AFI. Grade: Verse (B+); Chorus (B+)

• More depth is required. Is the target audience...

  Thread: Stretch It Out (3 Replies, 2,183 Views) by pq92k

  
  

  More depth is required. Is the target audience teenage females? Grade: Verse (C+); Bridge (C+); Chorus (B-)

• These lyrics remind of something the Barenaked...

  Thread: I'll Be Your Puppy Dog (1 Replies, 1,974 Views) by pq92k

  
  

  These lyrics remind of something the Barenaked Ladies would sing like "Be My Yoko Ono". Grade: Verse (C+); Chorus (C+)