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• Yay! I love it when people write songs with a...

  Thread: brave (5 Replies, 5,104 Views) by StripedSweater

  
  

  Yay! I love it when people write songs with a seemingly pop oriented sound. You may not have intended for that but that's how I got it lol. I am also confused on the meaning of "till".

• I think the third stanza could use a little...

  Thread: My heart is in danger (3 Replies, 1,691 Views) by StripedSweater

  
  

  I think the third stanza could use a little rearranging. Maybe a more complicated rhyme scheme. I think it's possible just to shift the lines around and make them fit again. If you alternate your...

• when the line "but it's the ending line" shows up...

  Thread: ending line (5 Replies, 2,030 Views) by StripedSweater

  
  

  when the line "but it's the ending line" shows up for the first time, I imagine a Florence and the Machine type drum beat kick in. Good job! :)

• I'll Find More Fish In The Sea

  Thread: I'll Find More Fish In The Sea (1 Replies, 3,025 Views) by StripedSweater

  
  

  I had a hard time naming this one... I considered "When You're Sleeping In Bed" but that seemed too long.
  
  I remember that sunday
  It's still in my head
  So tell me, you'll remember me
  When you're...

• Our Secret

  Thread: Our Secret (2 Replies, 3,884 Views) by StripedSweater

  
  

  How long, 'til you leave her?
  You should know that
  This is getting old
  
  Keep me, a secret
  You should know that
  Nobody here is too happy
  
  She's just another girl
  One more broken heart

• So it's like a Romeo and Juliette type situation....

  Thread: Danger Zone Love (4 Replies, 8,134 Views) by StripedSweater

  
  

  So it's like a Romeo and Juliette type situation. Nice

• This song has a very positive message I think....

  Thread: With Our Faults (2 Replies, 1,446 Views) by StripedSweater

  
  

  This song has a very positive message I think. "Yes we must live with our faults" good line :)

• It's makes me feel kind of depressed while...

  Thread: Nothingtown (5 Replies, 1,931 Views) by StripedSweater

  
  

  It's makes me feel kind of depressed while reading it... good job! lol

• The name sounds familiar... but I do not know him.

  Thread: White Teeth (6 Replies, 4,079 Views) by StripedSweater

  
  

  The name sounds familiar... but I do not know him.

• Your chorus is great! I love the fact that this...

  Thread: Girls, Guitars, and Gasoline (17 Replies, 17,308 Views) by StripedSweater

  
  

  Your chorus is great! I love the fact that this song unfolds like a story, and you did a good job telling it. I thought it would have a happy ending... oh well. :)

• You're so kind! lol :D

  Thread: White Teeth (6 Replies, 4,079 Views) by StripedSweater

  
  

  You're so kind! lol :D

• it's surely an attention grabbing name lol I...

  Thread: Racist (1 Replies, 1,128 Views) by StripedSweater

  
  

  it's surely an attention grabbing name lol I thought this song was oing to be about something WAAAY different lol

• There is serious stuff in here

  Thread: We will not run,we will not hide (8 Replies, 2,418 Views) by StripedSweater

  
  

  There is serious stuff in here

• White Teeth

  Thread: White Teeth (6 Replies, 4,079 Views) by StripedSweater

  
  

  I think I kind of led him on
  Do you think I did too?
  I swear it isn't true
  
  You come around here all the time
  But I don't see it through
  I swear it isn't true
  
  You told me that you're good...

• Solid song. What I'm assuming is a bridge, the...

  Thread: A Love Hate Relationship (4 Replies, 1,683 Views) by StripedSweater

  
  

  Solid song. What I'm assuming is a bridge, the stanza starting with "Tore our pictures off the wall" is pretty sweet. If anyone burned my favorite sweat shirt i'd be pissed! lol The hook is great...

• Glossy Eyes

  Thread: Glossy Eyes (4 Replies, 3,349 Views) by StripedSweater

  
  

  Life doesn't always work out
  Like you planned it
  They say, don't give up, just keep on moving
  But I try, and I try, I just can't understand it
  
  All this crying for no good reason
  You make...

• I found the line "barefoot dancing" do be vey...

  Thread: Fantasyland Magic (16 Replies, 16,380 Views) by StripedSweater

  
  

  I found the line "barefoot dancing" do be vey cute for some reason. Bravo! You did good! :D

• It's a super fun song! lol

  Thread: When The Sex Plays Out (2 Replies, 2,193 Views) by StripedSweater

  
  

  It's a super fun song! lol

• Doug you hit it on the head lol the part about...

  Thread: Untitled (8 Replies, 5,576 Views) by StripedSweater

  
  

  Doug you hit it on the head lol the part about mistakes not waterfalls haha :P

• Maybe it's just me, seriously it's probably just...

  Thread: Distant Yesterday (7 Replies, 2,240 Views) by StripedSweater

  
  

  Maybe it's just me, seriously it's probably just be me lol, but I don't see much of a connection between the two verses. I can't really put my finger on it... but something is a little off when I...

• EEEWWWW hahaha no way Miley can't have it!

  Thread: Gangster Too (3 Replies, 2,593 Views) by StripedSweater

  
  

  EEEWWWW hahaha no way Miley can't have it!

• Gangster Too

  Thread: Gangster Too (3 Replies, 2,593 Views) by StripedSweater

  
  

  I came up with the idea of this song after watching Lana Del Rey's music video for National Anthem. No I wouldn't go that far to get a boy lol. When you read it keep in mind an upbeat rhythm with it....

• What a way to welcome someone back! lol Thanks...

  Thread: Untitled (8 Replies, 5,576 Views) by StripedSweater

  
  

  What a way to welcome someone back! lol Thanks Doug! I never considered myself retro... but I can totes dig it lol

• The closing line gave me a whole new prospective...

  Thread: Never really knew (8 Replies, 2,460 Views) by StripedSweater

  
  

  The closing line gave me a whole new prospective on the entire piece. I don't know if that's what you meant but that's how I got it. Like instead of just being sad or upset about the situation you...

• I really like your chorus. When I read it, in my...

  Thread: French Fry Cool (28 Replies, 14,150 Views) by StripedSweater

  
  

  I really like your chorus. When I read it, in my head I could hear a sort of bubble gum happy beat. I like the phrase French Fry lover also, it makes me think about old school cafes and such, even...

• I Have A Friend

  Thread: I Have A Friend (1 Replies, 2,853 Views) by StripedSweater

  
  

  I have a friend, but she hates me
  It's not the same as when we were young
  On the cold days we huddled up
  The kid games have passed and I'm feeling kind of hurt
  
  We were cool, but we screwed up...

• Untitled

  Thread: Untitled (8 Replies, 5,576 Views) by StripedSweater

  
  

  Untitled work in progress thingy here... Just a thought
  
  Wake all my ladies up
  Slide out of the sheets
  A million broken hearts
  A million broken dreams
  
  Now call my guys in
  We see you threw...

• I like it :3

  Thread: Broken Pieces (14 Replies, 6,217 Views) by StripedSweater

  
  

  I like it :3

• Your Mother's Love

  Thread: Your Mother's Love (2 Replies, 8,105 Views) by StripedSweater

  
  

  Your mother's cooking
  it kind of creeps me out
  And all her gushing
  Just get me outta here
  
  We're no good
  But your mom disagrees, she said
  We need to try a little harder
  
  She says we're...

• Thanks! lol I agree with the dark humor haha I...

  Thread: Kevin (5 Replies, 4,287 Views) by StripedSweater

  
  

  Thanks! lol I agree with the dark humor haha I just let myself be a freak for 20 minutes when I wrote this. It felt good hahaha :P

• Kevin

  Thread: Kevin (5 Replies, 4,287 Views) by StripedSweater

  
  

  Oh my God, you're my guy
  I'll listen to you all night
  Even the day you caught my eye
  I knew you would be alright
  
  Everyday a kiss hello
  Baby let's go down low
  Even when you are not home
  Baby...

• OMG I love this!

  Thread: In the dirt (11 Replies, 3,926 Views) by StripedSweater

  
  

  OMG I love this!

• When You Want To See Fire

  Thread: When You Want To See Fire (2 Replies, 3,691 Views) by StripedSweater

  
  

  Kind of a long name I know... I just couldn't think of anything better. Any ideas for a new name are greatly appreciated! :)
  
  I, I had an awesome time
  You kept me holding on
  Like a loving child
  ...

• It has a strange feel about it... but I like it! ...

  Thread: Obsidian Rock (6 Replies, 2,305 Views) by StripedSweater

  
  

  It has a strange feel about it... but I like it!
  
  Just out of curiosity... the Indian? haha

• Lmao you guys are crazy. No i don't have anymore...

  Thread: My Greatest Fear (10 Replies, 4,876 Views) by StripedSweater

  
  

  Lmao you guys are crazy. No i don't have anymore rich dads lying around ahahaha

• Of course you have my permission haha as long as...

  Thread: My Greatest Fear (10 Replies, 4,876 Views) by StripedSweater

  
  

  Of course you have my permission haha as long as I get a track of it! lol

• Leave Me Hanging

  Thread: Leave Me Hanging (2 Replies, 3,436 Views) by StripedSweater

  
  

  My life, incomplete
  My head, falls to my feet
  
  My heart, disperse
  My love, oh it hurts
  
  Reduce me down to carbon
  Because I never use my senses
  Why all these circumstances?

• Lol I thought it was obvious but i suppose i...

  Thread: Hold On To Your Heart (3 Replies, 2,665 Views) by StripedSweater

  
  

  Lol I thought it was obvious but i suppose i should have explained it :P it's a chorus

• OMG i love your comments! haha

  Thread: 12 O'Clock (5 Replies, 3,770 Views) by StripedSweater

  
  

  OMG i love your comments! haha

• Motivation

  Thread: Motivation (3 Replies, 3,030 Views) by StripedSweater

  
  

  Now come on baby sugar comb
  I want you in the morning
  
  They people in the sky, they lie
  But they know nothing
  
  Here I stay
  Here you lay
  Here I stay
  Here you lay

• I like "Talking to me dirty" haha

  Thread: Give It A Name!! (4 Replies, 1,752 Views) by StripedSweater

  
  

  I like "Talking to me dirty" haha

• You're awesome! lol

  Thread: 12 O'Clock (5 Replies, 3,770 Views) by StripedSweater

  
  

  You're awesome! lol

• Talking To Yourself

  Thread: Talking To Yourself (2 Replies, 3,205 Views) by StripedSweater

  
  

  If I ever catch you talking to yourself
  I'm gonna... take those words away from you
  No oh oh ah oh
  So if I ever see you talking to yourself
  I'm gonna... take those thoughts away from you
  No oh...

• I can hear the music when I read it lol :D

  Thread: Deleted (5 Replies, 2,003 Views) by StripedSweater

  
  

  I can hear the music when I read it lol :D

• 12 O'Clock

  Thread: 12 O'Clock (5 Replies, 3,770 Views) by StripedSweater

  
  

  Baby?
  Yeah just call me baby
  Maybe, this time
  We will all be alright
  
  Bu-Bu-Bu-Baby?
  They don't understand us
  Maybe, In time
  We will all be alright

• Lol bro you need to chill. It is good where it is...

  Thread: Don't have a name yet :/ Any suggestions? (16 Replies, 5,568 Views) by StripedSweater

  
  

  Lol bro you need to chill. It is good where it is and that's that. No discussion. Good day :)

• Lol wow. Someone is super full of himself

  Thread: Don't have a name yet :/ Any suggestions? (16 Replies, 5,568 Views) by StripedSweater

  
  

  Lol wow. Someone is super full of himself

• Lol when it's not your creation, but someone...

  Thread: Don't have a name yet :/ Any suggestions? (16 Replies, 5,568 Views) by StripedSweater

  
  

  Lol when it's not your creation, but someone else's... you're always wrong ;)

• Young Blood

  Thread: Young Blood (0 Replies, 4,066 Views) by StripedSweater

  
  

  A simple thought can change my mind
  How to see through different eyes
  And all the time I've spent asleep
  It doesn't seem to bother me
  
  All my mistakes they torment me
  What is now will always be...

• @Mike Hmmm maybe. Idk though. It doesn't seem to...

  Thread: Don't have a name yet :/ Any suggestions? (16 Replies, 5,568 Views) by StripedSweater

  
  

  @Mike Hmmm maybe. Idk though. It doesn't seem to hold the main idea of the song.
  @Wilson that would be awesome lol
  @Peter I like that lol
  @Doug You always have something very helpful to say haha :P