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Thread: Poetry, Prison (0 Replies, 38,469 Views) by Eccer
(a bit of fantasy again, for old times sake)
I. Fire
I read through the fires
past lives, sun & above.
I breathe atoms I've inhaled before...
whence these thoughts...
That which loftily...
Thread: Echo (3 Replies, 6,335 Views) by Eccer
This is more interesting than my first impression was. I especially like how you end the last stanza...drawing it out with an echo and a speaking heartbeat sorta..actually a really enjoyable read.
...
Thread: Loose Lipped L-Kid (3 Replies, 6,247 Views) by Eccer
This is very well written, and the flow is impeccable. I like how you experiment with that type of free flow of words. My first impression makes up for a puzzle, which is by all means positive!...
Thread: Dalston Night Tale (7 Replies, 7,287 Views) by Eccer
Awesome, you are welcome to post more!
Thread: Dalston Night Tale (7 Replies, 7,287 Views) by Eccer
^ No need to be shy Technist ;) Anyways, this is really great. How long you've been writing?
I would perhaps put a comma between
you clocked my sly manoeuvre, planned
to plant an undertone...
Thread: Haiku (1,025 Replies, 328,324 Views) by Eccer
Foolish and stupid
Weren't we all?
Days of yore
Thread: Haiku (1,025 Replies, 328,324 Views) by Eccer
All adventurous
To encompass
Entrophy
Thread: Haiku (1,025 Replies, 328,324 Views) by Eccer
Dreamful artistry
The painter closes his eyes
To another world
Thread: Haiku (1,025 Replies, 328,324 Views) by Eccer
Only if we care
or the need to wash
our stares away..
Thread: Hues of Us (2 Replies, 6,085 Views) by Eccer
(Below is a norwegian translation, figured it did well as a translated piece too.)
I know that the air is true...
I know that I was born, infant
and the care of a mother as the love from a...
Thread: A lady that gives me cards through her head.. (2 Replies, 8,257 Views) by Eccer
Repeatedly I told myself; This lady stole her gypsy magic from somewhere..
..not that I believed in it, not that I would ever...not that I could tell..
l et 's p la y wi t h t h e l a dy t ha ...
Thread: A sister song (10 Replies, 10,157 Views) by Eccer
Good Teshka! This was an enjoyable read and it seems you took my advice but still kept a part of yourself and let the imagery flow. And your explanation is wonderful because, you're thinking like a...
Thread: I, escaped (0 Replies, 4,670 Views) by Eccer
And, a moment out of time
I, escaped...
Yet there's corruption
the taste of..
t h e re's.....? a s en se ..
o f le ft...
Thread: ..kinosamtalen II (5 Replies, 6,327 Views) by Eccer
Your own frame of mind on this is anything I could ask for and I feel honored...that it's not just a selection of randomness but rather unconscious(mind) conversations at the bottom of the sea which...
Thread: Haiku (1,025 Replies, 328,324 Views) by Eccer
Life reforms
That which from an
Artificial cell
Thread: ..kinosamtalen II (5 Replies, 6,327 Views) by Eccer
Good, which is? :-P
Thread: Hava Kava Sunrise (9 Replies, 5,670 Views) by Eccer
Oh ok, well that's understandable :-) I'm totally depended on the internet but I use it to my own good...not to waste time :-) Don't stop writing though, some interesting points btw. It's certainly...
Thread: Hava Kava Sunrise (9 Replies, 5,670 Views) by Eccer
It feels like you're forcing some rhymes... but nevertheless you have plenty of ideas here. Personally I find it a bit jarring because of it. If you want to rhyme in poetry, it should come naturally,...
Thread: ..kinosamtalen II (5 Replies, 6,327 Views) by Eccer
An echo in the nearing stillness...
"Just why wouldn't you let it go?"
Thread: Haiku (1,025 Replies, 328,324 Views) by Eccer
Life befriends me
Lies betray me
Yet I'm stark
Thread: That I sing for them (1 Replies, 4,272 Views) by Eccer
.....in dusty chambers dwell... a name resides within his log of executions, and its title:
*
Why dost thou cry or little boy, are you afraid of me?
Whence upon my altar, am I a demon of...
Thread: Something quite so funny, but not as funny when you think about it. (0 Replies, 3,770 Views) by Eccer
Her boobs were surreal, and kept growing inside my mind as the dream expanded on. And she was there, within me a times --// obsession solely fixated on her.
In reality I've met her rarely, I even...
Thread: More (2 Replies, 1,364 Views) by Eccer
Might be a little poetic indeed. Maybe a different presentation is what this needs... thanks! :)
Thread: Take your Sword (5 Replies, 2,773 Views) by Eccer
Oh haha, didn't see your comment there Amaryn, nice one ;-)
Thread: More (2 Replies, 1,364 Views) by Eccer
Accessing peace and what lies dormant
Eternally swathed within us all
Dive under or rise asunder
Reach
Or each as a consequence,
layering and circling
-thrive for more
More is the...
Thread: Alcohol's a... (4 Replies, 4,167 Views) by Eccer
Thank you both :-) was somehow drunk last night...and I still don't remember the title I came up with that night. So that's what this piece is trying to uncover lol.
Thread: Venti Venti (5 Replies, 7,620 Views) by Eccer
I ****ing love this man, respect! Now would you please show the rest of the world how it's supposed to be done? :) This is how rap should be, great rhymes with powerful meanings and free-flowing...
Thread: Alcohol's a... (4 Replies, 4,167 Views) by Eccer
I remember building towers
wide enough for me.
And the walls like the archives
I've made down here before,
for whence the darkness breach.
I'm a ghost that roams and
there's a ways I believe,...
Thread: Quells (1 Replies, 3,557 Views) by Eccer
You'd think it would stop by now, why me? The emptiness that quells for more, that endless void.
Some things cannot be fixed, and bad habits that comes from places... you'd hope for an end to it....
Thread: We're catching ships in the Rye (10 Replies, 10,242 Views) by Eccer
He's a reknown conspiracist nuthead... there's nothing more to say about that.
Thread: Midnight Sun (15 Replies, 11,243 Views) by Eccer
Ah yes, dark stuff Doug. I think I liked this piece way back, but now the button seems to be removed from this site =/ What impresses me is your tight rhyming scheme, and how rhythmic every single...
Thread: We're catching ships in the Rye (10 Replies, 10,242 Views) by Eccer
Ok, I think I've made my final edit to this piece... felt a bit messy in the middle there. (so many ideas to finalize properly) Tell me if you like it or not :)
Thanks to both of you Amaryn and...
Thread: Take your Sword (5 Replies, 2,773 Views) by Eccer
Nothing really, just general cheesiness. I wrote what first popped up in my mind. It sounds cocky but, that's the truth lol.
Thread: Empty (10 Replies, 7,053 Views) by Eccer
How have I not read this Frankie, I think you perfectly described what emptiness is here. It is satisfying in a sense....because it rings so true.
Thread: Cristene (20 Replies, 11,872 Views) by Eccer
Very good flow, and placement of words! This is balls down hate, written in the best possible way. Not much to say here really, I enjoyed it! :)
Thread: We're catching ships in the Rye (10 Replies, 10,242 Views) by Eccer
Oh and not to mention, I was also inspired by this peculiar happening in Russia. You should check it out! There's also a game coming out for this :-P
...
Thread: We're catching ships in the Rye (10 Replies, 10,242 Views) by Eccer
I'm still editing this quite a bit Amaryn, so keep that in mind. Thank you so much for the reply, was worried I overdid it again with this one. I feel as though I'm not doing enough good on these...
Thread: Take your Sword (5 Replies, 2,773 Views) by Eccer
(Well, I made a parody of a typical cliche power metal song, which me and my friend are working on atm.
The end is a little bit crazy-random hahah
Enjoy!)
"Once upon a time, a man was chosen...
Thread: Alcoholics Of The Future (4 Replies, 1,545 Views) by Eccer
Oh, this sure had a somber mood to it. Would have loved to hear it in song format, I think Tom Waits could have made a great edition to this :-)
My first favourite from you. You've also developed...
Thread: Crimson Man (4 Replies, 1,680 Views) by Eccer
Somehow I hear a little black sabbath in this. The lyrics are simple, and could easily fit that formula. However as I read this, it doesn't quite...capture me. But the flow is definitely there, the...
Thread: Ghosts Of Our Past or Forever Haunted (1 Replies, 852 Views) by Eccer
It does make sense, yes be critical to yourself. You will eventually land on a solution :)
Thread: We're catching ships in the Rye (10 Replies, 10,242 Views) by Eccer
We're catching ships in the Rye
The vibrations started early this morning...
and the humming, birds of yore.
Paving their way through the docks.
Thread: A new roof of Mankind (3 Replies, 4,714 Views) by Eccer
Thank you for the reply, I'm glad you found it interesting. Ah yes you are right, roof could actually be misinterpreted in that way!
Thread: A Dying Dream (16 Replies, 7,587 Views) by Eccer
How did I miss this one? ^^ Good work, you should pursue more writing Teshka :)
Thread: A new roof of Mankind (3 Replies, 4,714 Views) by Eccer
I accidentally deleted my last edit note, but I took this off the shelves again, and redid some parts which needed some overhaul, I think.
I thought it had some raw emotions to it, which was really...
Thread: The empty moon (3 Replies, 3,988 Views) by Eccer
Thanks all, I guess it turned out better than expected! If there's anything you guys want me to comment on, please leave a link :)
Thread: Timeless.. (1 Replies, 3,283 Views) by Eccer
That's just fantastic writing there StadiaMania, really satisfying rap poem. Care to look at my newest? "the empty moon" Thanks :)
Thread: The empty moon (3 Replies, 3,988 Views) by Eccer
The empty moon
The empty moon was floating
without a world
and the people dancing
within
Thread: Kinosamtalen (0 Replies, 2,964 Views) by Eccer
"My strategy is to listen to the movie conversation"
"It was made and profiled like a box"
"However I could not get this off my mind, and so I wondered
of you"
"Truthfully I was...
Thread: her name.. (11 Replies, 5,193 Views) by Eccer
Oh haha, I guess that's what I meant yes. Be progressive yo!
No but, I think the majority of lyrics/poems sites suffers from lack of real critic. If you are given continuous thanks and likes, you...