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Thread: need a proofreader for eglish thranslations of russian songs (108 Replies, 14,769 Views) by Alexei
Thank you Jandros, I agree with all your changes.
I'm gonna make all correctionas and contact the singer.
I like how you did feel the meaning of the song.
Thread: need a proofreader for eglish thranslations of russian songs (108 Replies, 14,769 Views) by Alexei
I am sorry. the original meaning was that she was thrown from paradice to hell. Let's say her life was balanced etc, but due to this arrow, all went wrong.
"That put you right to hell from...
Thread: need a proofreader for eglish thranslations of russian songs (108 Replies, 14,769 Views) by Alexei
I tried to use all your advice where it was possible rhytmically. How's that?
ВЕДЬМА \ WITCH
A Cupid's arrow pierced your heart
You didn't feel the aching start
That knocked you out from...
Thread: need a proofreader for eglish thranslations of russian songs (108 Replies, 14,769 Views) by Alexei
Sorry Jandros, I misled you with the forst verse. It shoul be read as:
Влетела в сердце навсегда
Стрела амура сквозь века
И выбила из рая в ад тебя
An arrow of Cupid
Has flown into your...
Thread: Need correction of translation from russian please (4 Replies, 4,612 Views) by Alexei
Being a native Russian speaker I may say that TALY SNEG is normally said about snow in the spring time, that is wet and soaked with water. But it is still snow, not water, for sure.
Thread: need a proofreader for eglish thranslations of russian songs (108 Replies, 14,769 Views) by Alexei
Excellent idea.
Actually the style of the song does not sound very traditional, it's pretty modern Russian. But the traditional variant could be a perfeect option, adding a little mistery and...
Thread: need a proofreader for eglish thranslations of russian songs (108 Replies, 14,769 Views) by Alexei
Jandros, could you help me please with this one, sung by Zaryana:
The song may be downloaded free from:
http://music.lib.ru/w/waganow_w_w/alb0.shtml
ВЕДЬМА
Музыка – Валентина Чернецова ...
Thread: need a proofreader for eglish thranslations of russian songs (108 Replies, 14,769 Views) by Alexei
Thank you Jandros. I'm glad you like it.
I found two mistake by myself. Should be like: Then the Sun has lit
and Songs are sung with no end
Thread: Russian Love Songs (15 Replies, 44,737 Views) by Alexei
and this is too hard for me if anyone can translate please do:
В продрогшем октябре китайской тушью
??
In freezeing October, with the Chinese ink
Я с этим умиранием сживаюсь,
??
I'm gettin'...
Thread: Russian Love Songs (15 Replies, 44,737 Views) by Alexei
If u r blond, make him sing u this one:
Золотые косы \ GOLDEN PLAITS
Музыка – Дмитрий Маликов
Слова – Александр Шаганов
Боль высокая моя, даль ночная,
My high ache, the distant spots...
Thread: Russian Love Songs (15 Replies, 44,737 Views) by Alexei
That Rybnikov's song is great... But what was the original language of Tаgor's lyrics?
By the way, Rybnikov's "Ty menya nikogda ne zarudesh (You'll vever forget me)" also can be considered as the...
Thread: need a proofreader for eglish thranslations of russian songs (108 Replies, 14,769 Views) by Alexei
Cool! Just one thing: Liberation songs - doesn't it sound too political?
It was not in the original. Well... At least to me... If it is political it changes the whole mood of the song, which maybe...
Thread: need a proofreader for eglish thranslations of russian songs (108 Replies, 14,769 Views) by Alexei
No, no... I'm not gettin tired. I think we'll make 2-3 variants. I have to put all these remarks together. Many of them make sence.
Here is another one by Dmirtii Malikov
БЕДНОЕ СЕРДЦЕ \...
Thread: need a proofreader for eglish thranslations of russian songs (108 Replies, 14,769 Views) by Alexei
Thank you all for your ideas and remarks. Jandreos, how about this one. I tried to use all your ideas, but make it a little bit more vocal.
You will never be mine. No, never
You will never be...
Thread: need a proofreader for eglish thranslations of russian songs (108 Replies, 14,769 Views) by Alexei
I fell much the same about English lyrics. Almost all of it sounds to me very nice, I can see much better the weak points of Russian texts.
The second lyrics of yours is both poetic and...
Thread: need a proofreader for eglish thranslations of russian songs (108 Replies, 14,769 Views) by Alexei
How'bout this:
You'll never be mine, darling
You'll never become mine, dear
In my dreams you'll not love me
Neither in real life, I fear
Leaves will blush up the high hill
From the sea...
Thread: need a proofreader for eglish thranslations of russian songs (108 Replies, 14,769 Views) by Alexei
I am eager to see your corrected eurythmic version that will combine your poetry with Malikov's rhytm. I think you were on the right way, cos David Samoilov was not a songwriter, but a real poet...
Thread: need a proofreader for eglish thranslations of russian songs (108 Replies, 14,769 Views) by Alexei
Poetically I think it's fine. I like how you did things with that sea view and expecially with horse riders, it's an important detail that I could not fit, but I just can't fit your variant...
Thread: need a proofreader for eglish thranslations of russian songs (108 Replies, 14,769 Views) by Alexei
Just to add that the song of D.Malikov is taken from the albom "S Toboi", and this lyrics above is written by David Samoilov, a well-known Russian poet.
Thread: need a proofreader for eglish thranslations of russian songs (108 Replies, 14,769 Views) by Alexei
Thank you, jandros. I will work on it and try to finalise...
Here is one more, by Dmitry Malikov. He is big in Russia. I like some of his early songs. Here is one of them. Nice pop fusion of rock...
Thread: need a proofreader for eglish thranslations of russian songs (108 Replies, 14,769 Views) by Alexei
Thank you very much. I'm gonna to consider all your remarks.
How about this one. The original russian soundtrack may be found on
www.koroliova.ru
НОВОГОДНЯЯ КОЛЫБЕЛЬНАЯ \
CHRISTMAS...
Thread: need a proofreader for eglish thranslations of russian songs (108 Replies, 14,769 Views) by Alexei
Thank you, Propel!
I Found air in the e-dictionary with a very rare translation song, aria... I thoght it might work. So it didn't:(.
Volley - icy volley, I thought it might be smth like, sayin...
Thread: need a proofreader for eglish thranslations of russian songs (108 Replies, 14,769 Views) by Alexei
Here is one more. No boubt that used to be one of the most popular rock songs of 1990-s in Russia. Still popular.
ПОСЛУШАЙТЕ
V. Shakhrin
Собираю марки
I collect stamps
От чужих...
Thread: need a proofreader for eglish thranslations of russian songs (108 Replies, 14,769 Views) by Alexei
Thank you, jandros... It's cool what you've done.
Here is another one. It's a very thicky song of a young Moscow songwriter Tatyana Puchko. Sure, not for beginners!
КОЛОБОК*
Слова и музыка...
Thread: need a proofreader for eglish thranslations of russian songs (108 Replies, 14,769 Views) by Alexei
Thank you, jandros, for your corrections and links.
Here is one more somg, that was sung near the Russian Whirte Hose in August 1991.
Поплачь о нем \ WEEP FOR HIM
Vladimir Shakhrin ...
Thread: need a proofreader for eglish thranslations of russian songs (108 Replies, 14,769 Views) by Alexei
Thank you all for your corrections. I am gonna work on it.
By the way, TRAIN IN FLAME can be compared in Russia with Dylan's "Times a-changin'". Was the same popular in 1990-s as that Dylan's song...
Thread: need a proofreader for eglish thranslations of russian songs (108 Replies, 14,769 Views) by Alexei
The list one might better be:
We must get the right rails!
Thread: need a proofreader for eglish thranslations of russian songs (108 Replies, 14,769 Views) by Alexei
Here is one more. The song was written by a N1 Russian rock musician in the very end of 1980-s. At the end of Communist time. A kind of Russian Dylan's "Time-a-changin"". U might love it.
TRAIN...
Thread: need a proofreader for eglish thranslations of russian songs (108 Replies, 14,769 Views) by Alexei
Thank you. I took your advice. Looks much better now.
Could you give me some comments on this one:
...
Thread: need a proofreader for eglish thranslations of russian songs (108 Replies, 14,769 Views) by Alexei
Thnks, your corrections are great!
I think I still keep goloubtsy, just to make the whole song to be more Russian.
I'll post you the final variant to your private.
Are there any volunteers for...
Thread: need a proofreader for eglish thranslations of russian songs (108 Replies, 14,769 Views) by Alexei
I'm happy you liked it, jandros. Also it's the authors' authentical singing.
Also I'll be glad to receive any comments on this translation of Tatyana Korolyova's song (www.koroliova.ru). The...
Thread: need a proofreader for eglish thranslations of russian songs (108 Replies, 14,769 Views) by Alexei
Thanks a lot, guys. I need to didgest it all and then come again with all things corrected. To let you do the final check.
Thread: need a proofreader for eglish thranslations of russian songs (108 Replies, 14,769 Views) by Alexei
how's that?
PRIVATE LIFE OF
ELECTRICIAN PETROV
A.Ivashchenko & G. Vasiliev
English version by A. Markov
Native proofreading by M. Propel & J. Hardy
She fell in love with his skillful...
Thread: need a proofreader for eglish thranslations of russian songs (108 Replies, 14,769 Views) by Alexei
How's that?
PRIVATE LIFE OF
ELECTRICIAN PETROV
A.Ivashchenko & G. Vasiliev
English version by A. Markov
Native proofreading by M. Propel & J. Hardy
She fell in love with his...
Thread: need a proofreader for eglish thranslations of russian songs (108 Replies, 14,769 Views) by Alexei
How's that?
PRIVATE LIFE OF
ELECTRICIAN PETROV
A.Ivashchenko & G. Vasiliev
English version by A. Markov
Native proofreading by M. Propel & J. Hardy
She fell in love with his...
Thread: need a proofreader for eglish thranslations of russian songs (108 Replies, 14,769 Views) by Alexei
Here is another one. Any volunteers? Propel, thank you for the lyrics you worked on. I really want your name on it, with jandros, of course. Good teamwork. Would you post it to me, how you want to be...
Thread: need a proofreader for eglish thranslations of russian songs (108 Replies, 14,769 Views) by Alexei
Goody.
Here is one more by Ivashchenko. I supplied it with a crib. Hope it will make things easier, and you are welcome to threat the original text liberally. As to me, I just try to preserve the...
Thread: need a proofreader for eglish thranslations of russian songs (108 Replies, 14,769 Views) by Alexei
Thank you, guys. I have to work a little on all you wrote, to fit the changes phythmically. As to small letters on the title, I might do an extra line, called "Native proofreading (or editing) by..."...
Thread: need a proofreader for eglish thranslations of russian songs (108 Replies, 14,769 Views) by Alexei
Cool, I’ll do all changes. “Finish” in Russian is more about sport, and “Final” – about life. Here, we mean life, of course. That’s why I used “final” – that’s why I need native proofreading. These...
Thread: need a proofreader for eglish thranslations of russian songs (108 Replies, 14,769 Views) by Alexei
Here is an version of another song of Ivashchenko and Vasiliev. I'll be gratefull for any comments on the test.
PINE
Я хочу быть высокой сосною,
Чтобы жизнь не прошла впопыхах,...
Thread: need a proofreader for eglish thranslations of russian songs (108 Replies, 14,769 Views) by Alexei
Thanks a lot. Sure, you are right. It's my stupid mistake. Has to be "Of", of course.
How about the rest? Does it sound strange?
Thread: need a proofreader for eglish thranslations of russian songs (108 Replies, 14,769 Views) by Alexei
The original words of Time. Just in case.
Время.
Под шорох шин, под рокот ветра
Послать последнее: "Прости".
Менять часы на километры
В пропорции один к пяти.
И твердь земную...
Thread: need a proofreader for eglish thranslations of russian songs (108 Replies, 14,769 Views) by Alexei
To Propel and jandros
Thank you very much, guys, for your comments. I got greatly inspired by them, cos you were the first native speakers to read my texts. Sure I'll made the correction you...
Thread: need a proofreader for eglish thranslations of russian songs (108 Replies, 14,769 Views) by Alexei
The next song belongs to Russian bards Ivashchenko and Vasiliev.
I will be very gratefull for any comments left by English native speakers.
TIME
Under the sound or rustling tires
To say...
Thread: Can you check my lyrics? (0 Replies, 2,327 Views) by Alexei
I've translated the following Russian song to English, but I want somebody to check it's style or if it has some mistakes. Thanks in advance.
TIME
Under the sound or rustling tires
To say...
Thread: need a proofreader for eglish thranslations of russian songs (108 Replies, 14,769 Views) by Alexei
I don't need a translation. I just want somebody to check (to edit, to proofread) the English version.
Thread: need a proofreader for eglish thranslations of russian songs (108 Replies, 14,769 Views) by Alexei
Мне не нужен английский подстрочник, мне нужна проверка и литературная правка моего эквиритмического (поющегося) перевода на английский.
Thread: need a proofreader for eglish thranslations of russian songs (108 Replies, 14,769 Views) by Alexei
Thanks for the interest in the matter. Here is the original lyrics. May provide a word-by-word translation.
По улице Мира в закатное небо... / Peace Street
...
Thread: need a proofreader for eglish thranslations of russian songs (108 Replies, 14,769 Views) by Alexei
Sure, it's one of the songs. But I'm pretty sure she\he is to be a real native speaker.
PEACE STREET
We wanted to live
In the Pease...
Thread: need a proofreader for eglish thranslations of russian songs (108 Replies, 14,769 Views) by Alexei
I've translated a number of Russian songs in English, but being not a native speaker, I need a proofreader. May consider to list as a co-author.