it's half the deepest darkness and half too bright light
blinding what senses you have left so they don't work right
and you think you're falling or you want to fall
escape from this unknown because you remember the horror
scared to exist again because you don't know who you are
you realize that you have a hand and that it can move
and there's something in it, your fingers know
and then you understand that there's another hand there too
but you don't know....you can't see who's on the other end because
your eyes.....pressure
why is it so dark there
why can't you move...so scared
half dark and half blinding bright
only one eye. and a hand. holding tight
but you can't
you're too terrified to move at all
because the pain is coming. from somewhere down the hall
no it's here, you want it to be somewhere else
but no it's me, in my chest and shooting down my legs
and i want to open my mouth i want to scream, i want to beg
that this is just some nightmare that isn't mine
i want to be me again but so afraid of what i'll find
don't let me wake up just send me back to sleep
i know that i just came from somewhere safe and deep
and i want to go back there because i don't know what this is
it's not me and please God i just want to be me again
lightning strikes inside my chest
my heart thrashes and i want it to stop
NO DONT STOP God please take it in your hands they felt so warm before
the tears come and i hear a voice, silent screaming on an avalanche course
and no one can hear the screams but me, it is me
and then that other hand and that other voice yes that voice calling
God please come quickly now and catch me when i let myself fall
i feel the rain driving down on me again
but no it's not the rain it's him and i'm so afraid
and i want to hate, i want so much to hate
but i can't because it will kill me so i start to shake
and then its everywhere i'm nowhere but the pain hates me
so now i just cry
just wanting to die
but no He's here again and he takes my hand
and the voice speaks to me and i understand
this can't be the end because then he would cry
but i don't understand...how is that so, please tell me why.....
[and this is how he answered me]
"it's because i love you and if you die i will too
i went through this once and now i can't lose you
so come back now you don't have to be afraid
just look at all of us, we'll even have a parade
just open your eyes and come be with us again
they're as afraid as you are because you're an angel to them
"God brought you here and put you in their hands
i've heard them pray and i know where he stands
we talk and He listens and that's why you're here
because to him and to us you are just so dear
and no matter how scared just believe you can trust
open your eyes now daughter come back home to us"
Hi! Sometimes people feel they can't carry on living without the one they love. But is it really so,lol?
A dramatic way of putting forward your opinions, TeeJei, and may you feel the strength to survive even if such a situation occurs!
Thanks for your poem. I've read it with interest
Teejei, this is a powerful poem. The first time I read it, I could only follow the first 2/3. It was disturbing, but in that familiar way--as though you are telling my story (of course, you aren't, because you don't even know me!). Especially, I identify with this:
but no it's me, in my chest and shooting down my legs
and i want to open my mouth i want to scream, i want to beg that this is just some nightmare that isn't mine
i want to be me again but so afraid of what i'll find
To me, this is the best part of the poem!!
I know you're new around ATL, but this is quite a poem! Congratulations. There's a lot of talent in both Lyrics and Poetry, and you definitely add to that talent!
The last part was a little more confusing to me; but now that I've read it several times, it begins to fit better with the beginning of the poem.
Thank you and i totally understand why it can be very hard to grasp all of it especially in just 1 or 2 reads because its an outpouring of something that even i still don't understand, and amaryn there is no "if" because this is a real-life account. It's not about someone dying it's an inside look at almost dying and then halfway wishing that death would come because what happened is too shocking to deal with.
The last part in italics was written by a friend who knows what happened and what i wanted to come out of that is that sometimes we don't have any ability at all to control or understand what happens to us, so then we may just want to give up caring and try to run away from the circumstances, even if it means leaving this world in one way or another.....But before we do that we have to consider that there will always be someone that will miss us if we choose to "go away" rather than step up and face whatever life has become for us.
This is also a testimony that there really is a God although we may want to deny that in our "normal" ways of life because more often than not, God just seems to get in the way of what we want to do or who we want to be. But in the end i believe that we really do want God to exist because if he doesn't, then when death comes as it does for everyone, then that really is the end. The end of "me" and i do not want "me" to ever come to an end, not for myself or for the others that care about me in their beautifully selfish ways.
Hi Teejei! I totally agree with the fear we all seem to have that life has to make sense OR ELSE. Therefore we seem to long for God to be there;
Of course we also feel the dilemma that WE DON'T KNOW. But what we all should try first is to be good people, a task which is hard enough for all of us to accomplish. Though I myself am agnostic (not belonging to any religion especially) I DO RECOGNIZE the feeling of something existing quite beyond our comprehension, yet in very human words made understandable for very many of us, be it the Bible, the Toran or the Koran or whatever else comes to your mind. May it make your life easier to live, your doings better to accomplish!
Goucho Marx said: "I hope indeed Paradise exists, 'cause finally I want to have a good espresso there"
Thanks a lot for your poem, so very full of thoughts and after your explanation easier to understand
I wanted to comment on your poem because it's heavy and deserves recognization.Also,you're one of two people that replied on my Thread.The only one whose opinion I didn't request,I might add.That being said,this is so out of my comfort zone,I don't know really what to say.Great rhymes just doesn't cut it.I'll have read it over and over to be able to say something of value.For now:Heavy Duty!
Thank you Doug. I should explain that i wasn't going for perfect rhyme or verse pattern from beginning to end and in fact i wrote it all out first, i let it unfold as far as it could go and then i went back and just made a rhyme where it was easy to do. Actually i did write "verses" 4 and 8 in poetic form originally but that's all....and once again a friend wrote the last part in italics, that perfect aabbcc scheme, i'm not claiming any credit at all for that
Tee,I wish I knew what the heck aabbcc was,it's just the first three letters of the alphabet to me!!All I know is what works with a drum,bass and guitar,with great vocals.All these "formulas" and "patterns"are Greek to me!I do know if something rocks and better still,if it rolls.Even better if it shakes.There,that is my formula.No disrespect to you,I just HAD TO SAY THIS SOMEWHERE!
Each matching letter represents lines that rhyme. in this case the first 2 lines rhyme (thus aa), then the second 2 (bb) and then the last 2 (cc). If every other line rhymed it would be abab. But it's not a tool for writing, it just identifies what you have after you're done with it
The italics I think is a perfect reply...and what anyone given half the chance and half the ability to sound as eloquent would have expressed to the first painful emotions crying out.