Unfinished Love

Thread: Unfinished Love

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  1. MoonRide*r*'s Avatar

    MoonRide*r* said:

    Default Unfinished Love

    A ballad:

    I wish I could wish for fairy tales
    A make-believe world where love never fails
    Where love can be perfect regardless of face
    A beautiful dream beyond time and place

    Where are you love, are you listening to this?
    Do you think it's possible such could exist
    Where we could just fly like eagles on high
    No stopping to cry, just reach for the sky?

    Not finished yet, I just wanted to post this part now coz it's about hope rather than hurt. I used to write stuff like this, in another life. I'd like to find my way back there.

    I'm wide open to suggestions/criticisms, or if anyone else wants to write more verses or a chorus, please, go for it

    Added 14 Dec:

    My world is a beautiful place coz you're in it
    And my raison d'être is to remove every limit
    That you ever feared would deny you tomorrow
    How foolish! but yeah I'd remove every sorrow

    Pretend we could be everything we can dream
    Just open your mind, let it be what it seems
    Every word that we speak can be just what we mean
    We could ride to the moon, just grab hold of that beam

    I know this is trite but that's the thing about Light
    The world doesn't seem right when it's brushed all in White
    We can't call it art till we color it dark
    If it don't crush a heart it ain't got no spark

    But I'm here believing (like a fool) I keep feeling
    that there is a reason why love has its season
    Pain doesn't have to be, curse all mendacity
    Take the audacity. Live to capacity.

    Don't stop
    Let it flow
    Don't look back
    Coz you know
    You'll see demons
    In tow
    .....
    .....
    Last edited by MoonRide*r*; 12-15-2010 at 11:52 AM. Reason: corrected grammar/spelling, it doesn't flow well unless it's all (or mostly) good English
    There is no glamour in sudden death, and nobody ever wins a war.
    :
    Rockers Unite! =>
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  2. MoonRide*r*'s Avatar

    MoonRide*r* said:

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    Bump. I added some stuff but it still needs more.
    There is no glamour in sudden death, and nobody ever wins a war.
    :
    Rockers Unite! =>
    ROCK 'n' Roll Halls of Fame
     
  3. Nanashi's Avatar

    Nanashi said:

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    I am sure what is left unsaid will come to you eventually. Perhaps you should wait for that time and leave this open?
     
  4. MoonRide*r*'s Avatar

    MoonRide*r* said:

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    Yes, thank you Nanashi, and I was editing even while you were posting. I got stuck on the last lines of what would be a chorus or bridge. Again I would welcome any little bit of help, from anyone. Maybe it's not even worth the time or space, but it's my personal mission to make something worthwhile out of this
    There is no glamour in sudden death, and nobody ever wins a war.
    :
    Rockers Unite! =>
    ROCK 'n' Roll Halls of Fame
     
  5. Nanashi's Avatar

    Nanashi said:

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    I will try and think of something for you then, yes? It might be till tomorrow but, I promise to.
     
  6. MoonRide*r*'s Avatar

    MoonRide*r* said:

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    Yes, please do! No rush, take your time, and thanks so much
    There is no glamour in sudden death, and nobody ever wins a war.
    :
    Rockers Unite! =>
    ROCK 'n' Roll Halls of Fame
     
  7. Nanashi's Avatar

    Nanashi said:

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    What more did you need added to this?
     
  8. MoonRide*r*'s Avatar

    MoonRide*r* said:

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    I'm not even sure Nanashi, outside of needing two more lines to finish a chorus. This is something I started just because I wanted to write something "nice" or even idealistic rather than "mean". I'm sick of being mean

    I edited (tweaked) a little more. The whole thing is a work in progress ...
    There is no glamour in sudden death, and nobody ever wins a war.
    :
    Rockers Unite! =>
    ROCK 'n' Roll Halls of Fame
     
  9. Nanashi's Avatar

    Nanashi said:

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    Tell me what this is about. I have two lines in my head but, I need to know if they will go with the story presented.
     
  10. MoonRide*r*'s Avatar

    MoonRide*r* said:

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    I just saw your post here, days of random chaos presently. In whole, this is only about defeating the ugly practicalities that always deny us our sweetest dreams. more specifically, the chorus is leading to a desire to ignore the tragedies or defeats of the past that make us skeptical of (or that interfere with) having a present or future happiness in love... writing on cell, out of room ... tbc ...
    There is no glamour in sudden death, and nobody ever wins a war.
    :
    Rockers Unite! =>
    ROCK 'n' Roll Halls of Fame
     
  11. MoonRide*r*'s Avatar

    MoonRide*r* said:

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    In short, this is just a foolish dream ... right? ... pretending that that the impossible can really be possible. But it also represents a hope, in reality, that the pains of the past can be forgotten and only the beauty of the dream will be remembered..
    There is no glamour in sudden death, and nobody ever wins a war.
    :
    Rockers Unite! =>
    ROCK 'n' Roll Halls of Fame