Melancholy

Black cloud hangs over me again
Drops of sadness are falling like rain
Coming feelings of regrets and sighs
That I have known a thousand times

Bridge:
Source of my strength to carry on
Disappearing
Like sands after lowtide
Will I be gathering on and on
Appearing
Like sands after hightide

All around is misty and blurry
No sense in what I used to worry
Everything I´ve done seems to be in vain
Pleasure of it will never more remain

Bridge:
Source of my strength to carry on
Disappearing
Like sands after lowtide
Will I be gathering on and on
Appearing
Like sands after hightide

Chorus:
Drowning to the lake of melancholy
Just head above a surface
Can´t get out all walls are slippery
My eyes looking to a white haze
Drowning to the lake of melancholy
Sands below me falling down
Shall it last eternally?
Or will my head go down too?

This is achingly good. With just a tiny bit of help on smoothing out the English, it can be really great. I feel it, all the way through. Please keep writing and keep posting.

Originally Posted by MoonRide42

This is achingly good. With just a tiny bit of help on smoothing out the English, it can be really great. I feel it, all the way through. Please keep writing and keep posting.

Thank you very much for your opinion. I appreciate it. You´re right my english isn´t smooth, because it´s not my native language. You´re welcome to add your advices about my english.

I read this again, and actually there's only one thing that really needs to be changed. 1st verse, 4th line:

That I have been knowing for thousand times

I would write it one of these ways:

That I have been knowing for a thousand times
... or ...
That I have been knowing a thousand times
... but even better ...
That I have known a thousand times
... or ...
That I have known thousands of times

So there are several ways to say it, and it depends on the lyrical rhythm that you need. But in this case, a singular noun (thousand) usually needs an article, a/an/the. Also a progressive verb (have been knowing) doesn't usually sound good with a specific (finite) number like thousand or thousands.

But for song lyric or poetry, the rest of it is good just the way it is. You're a very good poet. More please?

Thank you very much MoonRide42 for your grammar advice. I edited it. I focus more on melody and because english is not my native language I can´t feel that it sounds wrong or unusual for native speaker. Thank you.