Calling Your Name

She's staring at me,
I've got my arm around her,
She says don't ever leave my side,
I say baby I'll always be here,
I look at her, then look away,
I forgot what earth looked like,
Felt like I was in heaven for days,
Don't want this moment to end let's get trapped in time,
Just me and you forever not a worry in mind,

When I'm away from you,
My heart it screams for you,
Calling your name,
Hoping you're doing the same,
Listening closely to the wind,
Thinking maybe I'll hear your voice blowing in,
Wishing on a shooting star,
Hating we have to be so far, apart,
Waiting for the time to reunite,
I just wish that time was tonight,

Girl we've been apart for way too long now,
I look outside and I start to see your face in the clouds,
I call you every chance I get,
Just hearing your voice makes me regret,
Having to leave,
But I do it for you,
Out getting paid and making a better life for us too,
You say I miss you, I want you,
I need you, come back,
I say I miss you, I adore you,
I love you, but you know that,
Every second without you is making me weak,
It gets hard to breathe I can barely speak,
I need to stay strong,
Because I know what I'm doing isn't wrong,
And I know I'll be home soon back to my baby,
Even though it's been so hard without you lately,

When I'm away from you,
My heart it screams for you,
Calling your name,
Hoping you're doing the same,
Listening closely to the wind,
Thinking maybe I'll hear your voice blowing in,
Wishing on a shooting star,
Hating we have to be so far apart,
Waiting for the time to reunite,
I just wish that time was tonight,

If you're with someone you love hold them tight,
Because you might have to be away and miss them through the night,
Let them know you care and you'll always be there,
And you'll do everything you can to give them the world someday,

When I'm away from you,
My heart it screams for you,
Calling your name,
Hoping you're doing the same,
Listening closely to the wind,
Thinking maybe I'll hear your voice blowing in,
Wishing on a shooting star,
Hating we have to be so far apart,
Waiting for the time to reunite,
I just wish that time was tonight.

I like your idea, but to make it poetic, you should probably use metaphors and such. Try read some of Shakespeare's sonnets, they're interesting. Being too plain and direct can be a bit boring. Although there are cases where an overused phrase like 'I love you' can be really powerful (What a Wonderful World, for one, is simplistic but very powerful), many times it can be indistinguishable from some guy saying, "I love you, so have sex with me."

Also, you start with 'she' and go to 'you.' You should stick to one (preferably you).




Then again this is just words from a newbie writer, so take what I say with that knowledge, please.

Thanks for the comment. I appreciate the advice.

Aw, this is so sweet!! It's like you took all the desperation of true love and squashed it into a song. Although, I agree, go with 'you', it makes it more personal :P

Thank you. And will do.