Just wrote this poem/rap. Would def like to hear your opinions

Through this life's challenge, Im just tryin to find a balance between
Nightmares and my wildest dreams
Turn a vision to a portrait, a slum to a fortress
Become somethin more then, what I was born wit
Always been a dreamer thoughts deeper then my lame peers
Motivated by the coldest haters who defamed Chris
Shoulder blades hold the weight-a pain that you can't lift
Show the haters that my soul was made with such a great gift
Laughin at the gossipin, actors lack the tolerance
To fathom one adjective your flappin lips are hollerin'
Counteract the negative wit foul mouth etiquette
It sounds so pleasant when I drown out pessimists
The dark make my hopes seem, far from my own reach
Scars that are lodged in my conscience just wont leave
Times seeming so bleak, try to let my flow teach
But everybody's minds ****in blinded by the smokescreen
The innocent, turn to sinners as, every minute ticks
The product of this vicious sick world that were livin in
More like a prison then a paradise greedy parasites
Force the average type to live a sub-average life

not finished yet but this is it so far

yoo man for a poem this is righteous but for it to be a rap you would have to match up the syllables per line more. i liked that it had a deep meaning to it and i could get lost in the txt in the sense that it wasnt bleak to read, and your word choice is excellent ie."Turn a vision to a portrait, a slum to a fortress", "The innocent, turn to sinners as, every minute ticks
The product of this vicious sick world that were livin in
More like a prison then a paradise greedy parasites" sick man what gave you inspiration to write this?