Trapped! (V2)

Thread: Trapped! (V2)

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  1. PointZero's Avatar

    PointZero said:

    Default Trapped! (V2)

    I've grown up to realize,
    that I grew up on our fathers lies.

    In the equation of life,
    it never says love was a sacrifice.

    True man and a gun pointed at the sky,
    you're just watching the time go by.

    Because at this point in time,
    I just don't know.
    I'm figuring out what's in line,
    and what it has to show.
    I'm just a lost mind,
    in the sea of the undefined.

    The almighty dollar scares again,
    because it always knows where we've been.

    Blown up to real size,
    we're only wasting out our lives.

    Secret telling gets us where?
    Maybe someday out of the tunnel of despair.

    Because at this point in time,
    I just don't know.
    I'm figuring out what's in line,
    and what it has to show.
    I'm just a lost mind,
    in the sea of the undefined.

    I'm just a lost mind,
    in the sea of the undefined.

    So honey please allow me to speak.
    And honey please let me take a peek,
    at our love.
    Is it love at all?
    Do you feel the fall?
    Baby we're not looking so tall.

    Because at this point in time,
    I just don't know.
    I'm figuring out what's in line,
    and what it has to show.
    I'm just a lost mind,
    in the sea of the undefined.

    (...?)
    So I'll take my dreams,
    and strike up this match.
    Maybe I'll find myself tonight.

    Between right and wrong,
    I've made a point,
    to keep moving on.

    So I'll take those dreams,
    all by myself,
    lead me to the light of self wealth.

    Between right and wrong,
    I've found my ground,
    oh we'll crawl out,
    and keep moving on.

    Oh we'll crawl out,
    and keep moving on.
     
  2. PointZero's Avatar

    PointZero said:

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    Any thoughts?
     
  3. Nanashi's Avatar

    Nanashi said:

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    You become better and better each time you put thought into writing. I would want to call this my favourite of your works, yet I know there is more to come. How you began captured my attention and carried me through. Very amazing piece, my friend!

    -Nanashi-
     
  4. PointZero's Avatar

    PointZero said:

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    Thank you so much Nanashi! It really means a lot because I do put a lot of thought into my writing, and I try to make it as relatable as possible. By the way, how old do you think I am?
     
  5. Nanashi's Avatar

    Nanashi said:

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    Hmm. I would say...I believe you to be in your twenties. Late twenties, perhaps. Am I close?
    And yes, it is evident how much thought and heart you place in your work~
     
  6. PointZero's Avatar

    PointZero said:

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    13.
    And thanks.
     
  7. Nanashi's Avatar

    Nanashi said:

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    Thirteen years old? Well then, you are quite mature then, are you not? Your writing skills are definitely of a High School level, if not better. I am surprised, very surprised. Wonderful work, dear.

    -Nanashi-

    You're definitely writing about subjects beyond your spectrum.

    -Joshua-
     
  8. PointZero's Avatar

    PointZero said:

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    Thank you so much again Nanashi, I've matured quite a bit. And I've come to slowly realize that Joshua. I'm hoping to become famous so I can speak for a generation that will need more support than any other.
     
  9. Katie13's Avatar

    Katie13 said:

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    I like it a lot. Especially the "sea of the undefined" - such a great line!!!
    "If you were me, then I'd be you, and if I were you, I'd hide somewhere faraway..."
     
  10. Nanashi's Avatar

    Nanashi said:

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    Indeed the generation will. I look forward to the fruits of your efforts, dear.

    -Nanashi-
     

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