King of Hearts

I'm less happy with this one than I was when I first wrote it. I have the perfect music for it, except that it seams to happy and this song is quite dark. Anyway, it's in F major. Here we go:

King of Hearts - Copyright (c) RobberBaron Enterprises 2011

[Verse]

I lay my cards down on the table,
You beckon me with remorse,
I stare into your eyes, it's time to break the ice,
Before we go back to our war

There's plenty more fish in the ocean,
But you won't go fish again,
You keep tugging my rope, until I start to choke,
When will it end?

[Pre-Chorus]

Snap, snap, we met and it started,
Boom, boom, go the pieces of my heart,
Clap, clap, you put on quite a show,
Now real life has to start

[Chorus]

So don't tell me you love me,
When we're both broken apart,
You are the queen of deception,
And I'm the king of hearts

I can't keep fighting a battle,
That's already been won,
You had your chance, you blew it,
And I'm only giving you one

[Verse]

A silent whisper said to go back,
Broken hearts can't heal the pain,
A dotted edict line, upon which you sign,
And sell your soul away

But I won't give in so easy,
Not gonna play my last card,
A trick hid up my sleeve, a chance for me to leave,
And leave you waiting in the dark

[Pre-Chorus]

Snap, snap, we met and it started,
Boom, boom, go the pieces of my heart,
Clap, clap, you put on quite a show,
Now real life has to start

[Chorus]

So don't tell me you love me,
When we're both broken apart,
You are the queen of deception,
And I'm the king of hearts

I can't keep fighting a battle,
That's already been won,
You had your chance, you blew it,
And I'm only giving you one

[Bridge]

How can you say,
What you did was okay?
I hear you passing by,
Every word is a lie

You never said a word,
That I could believe,
But baby now you're back,
It's time for you to leave

Clap, clap, you put on quite a show,
Now real life has to start

[Chorus]

So don't tell me you love me,
When we're both broken apart,
You are the queen of deception,
And I'm the king of hearts

I can't keep fighting a battle,
That's already been won,
You had your chance, you blew it,
And I'm only giving you one

This rings like something I could've written myself many years ago. But I wouldn't have done nearly so well with it, so it's all yours mate, lol Nice phrases, lots of 'em, and it really smacks.

Thanks for your comment Do you have any suggestions? The bridge is a bit weird, and does this bit work:
"A trick hid up my sleeve, a chance for me to leave,
And leave you waiting in the dark"

Sure I think that works fine. I re-read this again from beginning from to end, and seriously I don't have even one itty-bitty suggestion. I mean damn you can even spell as good as me so as far as I'm concerned this is fly from top to bottom.

Yay! Thanks

I like this!! I really do. This is really good (onomatopoeia at the highest level ) ~ "Snap, snap, we met and it started/ Boom, boom, go the pieces of my heart" - and this bit "You are the queen of deception/ And I'm the king of hearts" I really love!! Nice work

Yay thanks

Snap was inspired by the game snap where you're looking for two of the same card.

Ah, I understand!! Clever Will we get to hear the music for this? Sometimes when a dark song sounds happy, it add an extra depth of menace to it... like scary clowns are way creepier than normal scary people

I see what you mean, like with The Fray - How To Save A Life, it's a sad song based on major chords.
I'll post a link once I finish it, but it won't be anything official and I probably won't have a vocalist with me. I may be a while, I'm quite busy and I haven't even checked to see if I have any homework 0_0

Haha, no worries!! Was just wondering - I like your stuff Yes, do homework first!!! Otherwise teachers get mad and that's just plain annoying

Oh my gosh, how good does this sound??!! Love it!!
(on YouTube. Before people think I've gone mad and haven't realised I've already commented on this song!! )