The Way She Looked At Herself

© 2011 by Nicolas Paradis

Context: Based on the story of my ex-girlfriend who was suffering from eating disorder.
Genre: Progressive/Alternative Rock

[Verse 1] (Guitar: Clean w/ Reverb & Delay)

"I hate you"
"You disguss me"

Her bloody fingernails
Slowly cut through her skin
She must feel the pain
She deserves nothing else

"I hope"
"You'll die"


She steps on the bathroom scale
With her boots on of course
Staring at the digits
She closes her eyes ashamed

A tear slides down her cheek
She begins to scream
Strongly pulling her hair
As if it could make her disappear


Why did no one noticed
She was dying inside?
In fact she doesn't even know
Something's wrong with her


[Chorus 1] (Guitar: Overdrive)

It drove me crazy
Every times I saw
The way she looked at herself

I continuously failed
To make her feel better
With any compliments whatsoever

She always truly believed
I was only lying
To protect her feelings

All this time she lied
To herself when the truth
Could have saved her life


[Verse 2] (Guitar: Clean w/ Chorus)

She keeps installing mirrors
In every possible room
So she can remember
That she's an hopeless fat dump

The only way she can
Overcome her compulsive mind
Is to control every bite
Entering her crying stomach


[Chorus 2] (Guitar: Overdrive)

It drove me crazy
Every times I saw
The way she looked at herself

I continuously failed
To make her feel better
With any compliments whatsoever

She always truly believed
I was only lying
To protect her feelings

All this time she lied
To herself when the truth
Could have saved her life


[Bridge] (Guitar: Clean w/ Reverb)

She kept thinking:

"I just need to run and run"
"Then sprint or jump"
"Until I'm on the verge"
"Of fainting once more"

"I'm dizzy again"
"And my vision gets blurred"
"But I guess that's fine"
"That's what it takes to shine"


[Chorus 3] (Guitar: Overdrive)

It drove me crazy
Every times I saw
The way she looked at herself

I continuously failed
To make her feel better
With any compliments whatsoever

She always truly believed
I was only lying
To protect her feelings

All this time she lied
To herself when the truth
Could have saved her life


[Outro] (Guitar: Clean w/ Reverb & Chorus)

"I don't feel so good"
"I think I'll be sick"

She goes for the toilet
But collapses on her knees
Her pale face touches the ground
Her legs straight as bars

"I love you"

She reaches for my hand
Her breath is too slow
Her pulse even weaker
Her voice barely audible

"I'm sorry"

I loved her