New Song. Lemme know what ya think

my mind provokes memories of negative things you said to me
and steadily, you readily put me down, but i dont frown
as i drown, cause my smile is worth a thousand words, its absurd
i never realized when those words turned, and earned the title of
antonym, i start to fathom sin, a candle lit dinner with the grim reaper of my mind
the leader of my thoughts, leaves me in a ditch, distraught and distracted
from my sunday drive, am i alive? I stare, mind bare and unaware,
into the darkness of a moonless desert highway, scenery is tydie
though my path is still pitch black, i still see shadowy silouhettes
of situations not solved yet, i cant resolve it, I dug a hole to escape,
found more of the same, whats eating gilbert grape? he's going insane

bottle of wine and i start to feel fine, toast to the scapegoat
hit the weed, a feeling of being freed, light one for the scapegoat
a mountain of powder, happiness for an hour, cut some for the scapegoat

rolled weed and ecstasy, dont mess with me, im on the edge of existence
always altered, I started to abuse use with persistence, thats admittance
no resistence, I dont wanna be there, now the edge, is more fair
If im diving, no ones surviving, play it safe and no ones there
reality isnt real to me, mary's takin me, and shown me the truth
its aloof, love's a spoof, its candy for ignorance's sweet tooth
lieing is liberation, liberating liberace's sexual orientation
my border of reality is fading, with no sunlight, its dark out, and raining
my grip is barely sustaining, close to fainting, mind's straining
saying, "Guide me through the valley of shadows", with no yes, no N-O
isolation is all i know, you know? Thats N-O, not "new" "or lean"
shits unique to me and all I see. a gift and curse recieved.

bottle of wine and i start to feel fine, toast to the scapegoat
hit the weed, a feeling of being freed, light one for the scapegoat
a mountain of powder, happiness for an hour, cut some for the scapegoat

A bottle of liquor, is my quicker, way of dealing with ****
A decisive sinner, temporary winner, when it hits
The care free clip is staring at me, but shots from the AK, leave me okay,
pullin a plaxico but to get me outta jail, its fifty-fifty though, heads or tails
tails is bail, but heads is something deeper, steeper, waking the sleeper
disturbing the gate keeper. unleashing a beast leaving me to cease to breathe
and LSD's no CPR, digging my grave even deeper, a walk-through for the reaper
Walls melt, the ceiling lowers, the floor falls through, there are no doors
my perception lessons, im guessin, this is the end just around the bend
like an M Night twist im not sure if i exist so close to deaths kiss, everything's been so hit or miss
a shitty situation but reality's worse, its ****in hell there because of my curse
and i know If my goat ever wore thin, reality'd be the end of me, FIN

Possible "MANIAC" remix

Copyright Tre_Fly 7/3/2011

Need to change the hook and it will be straight. If you need any explanations just ask.

1.Bad ****/past regrets/ect. from a girl are always on my mind
2.I go from a decent or good mood to **** because of my negative thoughts
3&4.I rarely smile so a smile really is worth a thousand words, but its just a cover of my true feelings
5.I start to think bad thoughts, hurting myself or other people
6.The girl is always on my mind, which leads me to a bad mood
7.Sunday Drive=relaxing thing to do, keeps you happy, but with her on my mind I question my life and just stare blankly, unaware that my thoughts are dragging me down so much
8.I'm deep in my conscious and still be led deeper by the girl, its ty-die because I'm trippin balls haha
9&10.I'm so depressed but I still see more bad **** and dont know how to get away from it
11.Trying to get away from it doesn't work at all just more depression, people wonder whats goin on with me and I tell them I think im going insane

The chorus. Drinking, smoking weed, and doing other drugs help me get away from the depression

1.Weed and ecstasy is crazy, and im hallucinating hardcore
2.I stay high or drunk alot now, and i admit it
3.I dont wanna be in my head cause its so depressing, and being on "edge" i.e. ****ed up, is waaaay better
4.If I jump off the edge i.e. go crazy, I'll hurt myself or other people, but if i step back from the edge no one is there to help me, its a happy medium
5.Im ****ed up so much nothing is real anymore, but weed has shown me that feelings are foolish and hedonism is the only happiness for me
6.People lie alot, love doesnt exist in my eyes, and it only exists in ignorant people's lives
7.Lieing frees you from responsibility and gets you ahead in life, Liberace is a slang term for a gay person, who often lie about their sexuality to make their life easier until they are ready to come out
8.Again being ****ed up all the time is making me question everything and i dont know what reality is anymore, the dark, cloudy and raining part is a symbolic reference to my depression
9.My grip on reality is almost gone, im about to faint from being so ****ed up, and my head is strained from the depression and drugs
10.In such a bad time Im turning to God, using a reference from Psalm 23:4 I believe, but I dont get an answer from Him
11. I reason with myself on why i didnt get an answer, Im used to being alone, so its a "no" from Him, with isnt "New" or anything to me, the "N.O." "New" "Orlean" part is obviously a reference to the city but is a double entendre meaning that being alone isnt "new" "Or lean" as in hip/cool
12.Im the only person i know with this problem of constantly analyzing everything and being enveloped in thought at all times, which is both a curse and gift.

chorus again.

1.Getting drunk is an easy way to deal with this depression
2.When im drunk Im cool, smart, myself again and not depressed, because im not in my head
3.Clip=shots of alcohol, AK=AK47 referencing russia, meaning im drinking vodka, and "shooting" myself with my "gun" makes me feel better actually
4."Shooting" myself like Plaxico Burress but to get outta the jail that is my mind, except getting drunk might make me more depressed or feel better, its a fifty fifty shot
5&6.If the alcohol works in my favor, i'll be fine for a bit, but if it doesn't, I might kill myself because of how deep I'll go in my head
7.dropping acid just makes matters worse, making it easier for depressing or evil thoughts to reach my head
8.Double entendre, Im tripping hard and my life is falling apart/melting (a thing that can happen if you think to much about your life while on acid)
9.My perceptions of everything, life, thought, everything, is lessening, so i assume its about to be death
10.Like M Night's movies, with so many twists, I dont know whats going on, and Im not sure if ima die
11.This is a horrible situation for me but to me reality is worse than this, being in my head is worse than this
12.If I don't keep getting ****ed up, no matter how crazy I feel, Reality will kill me, my depression will kill me

And If you wondering, yes this is from personal experience. Depression is a battle I'll probably always have to fight, though I dont do it with that amount of drugs anymore.

I really would like some opinions on this by the way.
peace,
Tre_Fly

Oh that was an explanation clearly
line by line that is

Tre,
I like it. It's very creative, It has a nice flow to it. I felt in some spots you could have stacked a few rymes to equal it out, but if it flows for you thats all that matters. I like the hook too pretyy clever my man...You know what I liked most about this? It was writen from the heart. Not one time did you mention my rims, my cars, my women ice on the wrist,or anything like that.

Nice way to stay true to your self. good job homie...

PS
I just posted a new rhyme that I need halp with. Please take the time to read it when you get the chance...
it's called Traumatized....I need help on it...

Oh, Sk'n I switched up some words here and there to make it flow alot better and separated it so it reads like it supposed to flow, I'll post the finished version on here soon

Cool, I will look forward to reading it soon.

I had to check up 'scapegoat' though, had no idea what it was. Knowing what it means now, I light my joint to this one !
Hit the weed, a feeling of being freed, light one for the scapegoat ! Great shxt, but u know already.

I like the style you use to put out a story or feel, doesn't always head on one line and so i get a better sense of the whole thing. Helps with meanings too if I don't get a sentence at first. Flow is dope as usual, for a song like this as long as its pretty engaging concept wise there's no need to be too technical or fancy relative to lyricism and multis, overall realll nice post. Enjoyed readin it