Tell me What you think.....

Placid... strangers come to stand in pastures of unknown. People become frozen by ice that’s uncold. Time passes and ice thaws. We all fall, people always cross the first line we all draw... systematic its habit to speek lavish tongue. I’m seeking habits of people who act like they aint young... the time is coming... guitar is strumming my brain is numb and, I don’t get I spit you can’t deny I’m whit it... ha ha

Sleep deprived derived from the mad men. Sad men crazed with eyes red like bad men. Close to death with breath close to icebergs. I swerves cause drinks got my voice slurred. I’m loner and I’ll keep it that way... I’m a stoner and I’m already dazed. I’m confused not used by you.

Third verse sick thirst with burst hits, my curse your Hurst bloody coffin kits. Vampire ***** ill become rich and I’ll get back on it with a group of dead body chicks....

Dreams become real only when they have to be... life is just catastrophe nightmares are always after me... my head is filled with bad this... sad things and even mad things... but that’s what I get, **** that’s what my life brings... always held down by people who never knew me.. Feeling like ima drown but everyone just looks right through me... never had a purpose or reason to be fool for anyone but myself and these kids that I’m living through... they will carry n my name but whats my name to carry on.. People won’t remember me till dead and gone....

It sounds really good however it can be quite hard to identify the verses as they are in paragraph form so I would write them like this to make it easier:

blah blah blah blah blah
blah blah blah blah blah
blah blah blah blah blah

-verse 2-
blah blah blah blah blah

etc if you know what I mean. Apart from that, it sounds good!