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Once the greatest Blacksmith
Who now hated life
Thanks to the murder
Of his daughter and his wife
With the help of his hammer
And the world's hardest steel
He forged an invulnerable weapon
Any poncho could conceal
Leather straps on his shoulders
Steel plates on his back and chest
A six-gun and an iron will
To put it to the test
Soon he'd find those who
Turned his life to dirt
First he'd kill them
Then eat their brains, for desert
Anybody who faced him
Usually wound up dead
Nothing was able to stop him
Except maybe,a bullet in the head
Leather straps on his shoulders
Steel plates on his back and chest
A six-gun and an iron will
To put to the test
He killed a small army
A few managed to retreat
All rambling stories
Too horrible to repeat
Written 2008
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The Smithy
Last edited by Doug Denslowe; 04-15-2014 at 10:12 PM.
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OK. First of all, I'm not into modern revenge songs, especially violent/murderous ones. That being said, violence and murder as art shows up from paintings, to Appalachian Mountain Songs, to rap (that kind I don't care for usually), to legendary poetry. So, looking at what I read as a poem, and from the distance of "time" and modern-day relevance, I like the poetry of it and could hear it as the following: poetry, Mountain music, or an Irish ballad (just my 'acceptable' frames of reference for murdeous songs). As for poetry, it's done pretty well! What came to my mind after reading it was another murderous classic--Harry Chapin's "Sniper." I like "Sniper" and some similar songs because they give insight into the person (for good or ill) to put perspective on the carnage. That's why I need the time separation (which the title "Smithy" brings to it, although they still exist in my neck of the woods) or thinking of it as an Appalachian Mountain song. It primarily sets another era, and for that reason I like it. Easier to deal with than current drug/street violence. Ending chorus/stanzas are great.
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P.S. Just a "Frankie Reality Check" which you can take or leave, since my opinion matters no more than anyone else's--certainly including yours!--the eating brains was a little much for me. The rest was solid (excuse the pun) imagery. -
That line upset my old guitar player as well.It was put there for that very reason;to upset the reader/listener.It was intended as a comic book anti-hero or some character from a "B" movie from the 50's.I very much respect your opinion and feedback.I hope I didn't turn you off to my other lyrics/poems since that is a stand alone tale,not representative of my work,just of that piece.Thanks
Frankie J.I love hearing your input and view.Doug -
No. Not put off at all, Doug.
Just going through some of your stuff, but you've put up a lot in a short time!
I am limited online (time), so I may have to get to others later.
Sounds like you are already playing these songs--to audiences?? If so, please continue to give your basic description of the music style. It helps me to "hear" it your way instead of my own imaginary music (which happens kind of naturally in my head if the lyrics flow well, which yours do.) -
Don't like the brains part, but ditto on everything else!
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Holds up still, Doug!