Hi Guys!

I wanted your opinion on a short song i wrote..
try reading it like it is a rock song..

You... Dont commit suicide
you cant decide.
To lose your pride..

You dont be ashamed.
That your afraid
You are delayed...

This is not the house of fear so dont be afraid
Take your armor take your gear we dont need first aid
This is not the house of fear you wont be betrayed
When you start a brand new life dont try to escape.....

You.. Just have a life
dont take a knife
Theres no after life

You... Just take a ride
And pick a side
Dont stay and hide


This is not the house of fear so dont be afraid
Take your armor take your gear we dont need first aid
This is not the house of fear you wont be betrayed
When you start a brand new life dont try to escape.....

Thanks

I like it a lot.The fifth verse especially.I think that and the next verse should be your chorus.I'll always give feedback if it has a rhyme and rhythm I can relate to.I can,and I do like this.What else you got?One last thing;Hi Guys isn't a good song title,what did you name this song?"No Afterlife" is a suggestion.