Cradle to Grave

First off, it's been good to read some awesome new posts on here! Secondly, this is just a start of a song, but I hope you can provide some feedback anyway. My friend and I are trying to do a 'duel' project I suppose you could call it. So here's the start of 'song 1" lol. Hope you enjoy it!

Cradle to Grave -

Should I find the words
To corrupt the world and
Bring it to its knees

I’d whisper them
Into the wind
Watch it carry chaotically

Can we watch it burn
Let the waves come down
As it crashes unto fate

To aspire these dreams
Torn at the seams
Too far gone, to be saved…but

It’s all self-inflicted
A lacerated mind
Been turned so heartless
Silenced from the times

Been abused and stricken
Down by the words of hate
Led by the faithless…
Right into our graves…TO OUR GRAVES!!

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right now, it's just up to a first chorus (the bold text), but we're looking for some intensity behind the words to match the music we're putting it to. Any ideas or feedback would be greatly appreciated. thanks in advance and i hope you enjoy!

Like the title.Good start,heavy stuff.