Lying in my bed
The world starts to spin around me
All that's said and done becomes a haze
It's hard to tell myself
I can do without the worries
Then I want to go to that special place

I close my eyes
My worries are all put aside
On a magic carpet
My thoughts wil ride
I can see those places
I used to run and hide
In the soothing summer heat
Of Juliana Street

Lying in my bed
The world's like a looming shadow
Far too many facts crammed in my head
It's hard to tell myself
This is the time to let go
Then a fairy sprinkles stardust on my bed

I close my ears
The voice of reason disappears
On a wheel of fortune
My thoughts are steered
I can hear familiar sounds
They are so loud and clear
The sound of running feet
Down Juliana Street

How many of us when going thru bad times have longed to escape to some special place we used to go as children? I like this, great job

Although I usually don't comment (or read)songs that don't rhyme (I'm old school)this did draw me in.I read Rock Rebel Rickey's Reply and don't know what he's calling "the chorus".To me,a chorus,repeats itself.That exactly what my only "complaint"is;no chorus.If one was added,or a verse turned into one........Perfect-O!

Thanks for your comments! This song has not really got a verse-chorus form. It is a slow song that consists of two long verses. The second part of each verse stands out from the first part. It may feel a bit like a chorus, but it isn't 'cause it doesn't stand on its own and it is not repeated. If you're interested in song forms I can recommend the book The Craft Of Lyric Writing by Sheila Davis. I do agree with RickeyJoe that it might be a bit short. I'm thinking of adding an outtro to the song.

Here is a beautiful example of a song without a chorus. I do my best to be more old school than Doug here ;-) (guess in which state the guy finds himself at the end of the song)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mUg5p3BncuQ

Originally Posted by Peter Both

Thanks for your comments! This song has not really got a verse-chorus form. It is a slow song that consists of two long verses. The second part of each verse stands out from the first part. It may feel a bit like a chorus, but it isn't 'cause it doesn't stand on its own and it is not repeated. If you're interested in song forms I can recommend the book The Craft Of Lyric Writing by Sheila Davis. I do agree with RickeyJoe that it might be a bit short. I'm thinking of adding an outtro to the song.


Here is a beautiful example of a song without a chorus. I do my best to be more old school than Doug here ;-) (guess in which state the guy finds himself at the end of the song)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mUg5p3BncuQ

First off:no song is too short.(See Raven Beauty (Of The Night)by Doug Denslowe.Also I've written two songs with no chorus;Dragon Hunt and Wild West Jess.(I do have a chorus,but it's not essential to the song.I didn't post it,but I do have one.)

In the 60s and early 70s there were many beautiful songs written in the 'verse-only-form', like The Sounds of Silence, In My Life and The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face. It seems that this way of expressing has become very rare. (Is MTV to blame? They required Big Hair and Big Chorusses. 'Whooa Livin'on a prayer..'). I've read Wild West Jess again. It's a perfect example how the 'verse-only-form' is well suited for telling a story.

Thank you.you're a good judge of Song Writing!The more I return to this song,the more I like it.It's has a real "it grows on you"type quality.The title alone is worthy of notice!

Love this song,it keeps drawing me back..........

Really like these lyrics. Even though the song is kind of short but still great work.

Originally Posted by Peter Both

Lying in my bed
The world starts to spin around me
All that's said and done becomes a haze
It's hard to tell myself
I can do without the worries
Then I want to go to that special place

Lovely just lovely

I close my eyes
My worries are all put aside
On a magic carpet
My thoughts will ride
I can see those places
I used to run and hide
In the soothing summer heat
Of Juliana Street

Flow, rhyming and imagery are excellent here

Lying in my bed
The world's like a looming shadow
^Hmmmmm, I would really like this line to work, but there's just something that feels wrong about it. You know what I mean?
Far too many facts crammed in my head
It's hard to tell myself
This is the time to let go
Then a fairy sprinkles stardust on my bed
And that goes for the whole stanza, I know what it tries to portray. I would consider revising it, see if there is anything you would change or not. But nevertheless, a good effort!

I close my ears
The voice of reason disappears
On a wheel of fortune
My thoughts are steered
I can hear familiar sounds
They are so loud and clear
The sound of running feet
Down Juliana Street

Once again, excellent!

Overall I think this text was very good, I enjoyed it alot. It was creative, interesting... and introspective