Need Advice On Lyrics "Never Be"

Thread: Need Advice On Lyrics "Never Be"

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  1. wjenkins88 said:

    Default Need Advice On Lyrics "Never Be"

    Hello I need some advice as I like to write lyrics in my free time. I know the stanzas should be the same length and the lyrics could do some tuning as this is just a rough draft of it but I would like to get feedback in general on the direction of the song. It's about a guy who loves a girl with all his heart but she only sees him as a friend. I have posted the lyrics below. Please leave feedback on what you think and advice if any as I would greatly appreciate it! Thank you!

    Never Be Lyrics

    When I first laid eyes on you,
    I knew that my wish had come true,
    Heaven sent an angel from above,
    As I sit lonely in this dark room,
    Eyes closed thinking about you,
    I can’t fight one more day,
    For the girl that can’t bare to here me say,
    You make me smile and I love you,
    You're my world and that’s the truth,
    If you only knew what you do to me,
    They say love is patient love is kind,
    If that were the case then you'd be mine,
    Sweetheart I have to set you free,
    I'm wishing for a love that will never be.

    It’s amazing how time flies,
    We have known each other all our lives,
    I just don't know how this love never came to pass,
    You mean everything you always have,
    I just wish you felt the same way back,
    You make me smile and I love you,
    You are my world and that’s the truth,
    If only you knew what you do to me,
    They say love is patient love is kind,
    If that were the case then you'd be mine,
    Sweetheart I have to set you free,
    I'm wishing for a love that will never be,

    I may just be your friend and that is dear,
    But baby I can't help how I feel,
    I sit and stare at the stars at night,
    Wishing for a love I seem to see but it's so far out of sight,
    You make me smile and I love you,
    You are my world and that’s the truth,
    If only you knew what you do to me,
    They say love is patient love is kind,
    If that were the case then you'd be mine,
    Sweetheart I have to set you free,
    I'm wishing for a love that will never be.
    *
     
  2. Wilson said:

    Default

    Good work there.hehe...thumbs up!..ok,you ought to separate the lyrics part.have a verse,hook,chorus,bridge..yep,and you'l be good to go.