Sheds

Sheds

Still cold, the trees withers
A sigh a mourning beckons
The dawn the years foretold, ever changing course
As beliefs can cycles go

Still brief smell, one leaf falls
Another sheds, for the lamentation
Brought upon winters end
In the years passing by

Even a face like scorched desolates
A man fruits
Steadily at the changing appearance
Recovering from its scars

Past watersheds returning
And a cup in natures grasp
A lake forms and seep
Thus a seed draws
And return

And where he walked
Amongst the crops and growth
Famished, by the years of trials as
Ruthless ice, melting
By his touch and tender care

A flow recurs again
Sheds a soul in another's
As flora paints itself
Like a poet to
Another's life spring

I'm entering this for a spring contest, thought you guys would like to see if it's worthy enough

Deep.It may be "over their heads".But,you can always say that if you don't win!I like it,but I'm on your side,anyway,so do whatever you feel.I remember Johnb. Entering a contest,and it too,was "too deep"for the masses.I'd like to know what he thought.John?

Well, it's for another forum actually. Some of the people there are unbelieveable good writers, so this little piece I have here is nothing compared to them haha... without sounding too pretentious It's not a very serious contest though, if you get what I mean hehe. But thanks for pointing out that "over the head" thing. Was it too vague or not self explaining?

It depends on the type of contest mine was a spoken poetry, if it is only written you may have a better chance. It also depends who is judging and what they happen to be looking for if it is common people then it maybe too deep for them but if it is people with a mind that understands artistic writing then the chances would be much higher. Anyway I really enjoyed this poem it gives this feeling of nature and the power behind it. It honestly puts me at ease when I read it and everytime I read it I find something new that i didnt realize to begin with. Great job on this one I think it will do well. You should check out "The World Is Too Much With Us" by William Wordsworth.

I knew if I called out John,he could put into words what I couldn't.He said everything I wish I could express,but I'm a simple type writer.I don't have the ability to say exactly what John said,but that's why I called him out.Thanks,John,I knew I could count on you!

Oh, sure it is, Eccer! It reminds me of all my neighbours, suffering from the long spell of darkness, cold and grey weather.
Now, when spring is - maybe- finally at our door the move towards smiles and positive thinking begins.....
You should witness this: it is exclusive in the world! Finnish spring

I think it's really great and I can hear it spoken as well. and I love how it ends, it made all of the mystery settle easily on me like a warm blanket on a windy late autumn afternoon.

Well it has begun, and as said. I don't stand a chance lol, the green one is amazing...

http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum...8#post31420788

Originally Posted by Eccer

Well it has begun, and as said. I don't stand a chance lol, the green one is amazing...

http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum...8#post31420788

Never mind, Eccer. Only optimists win! It just takes time. Keep growing and writing, my friend