So this is my first so dont be too hard on me And i know im not so good in english so please tell me if i typoed something.
And suggestions to make this better is welcome aswell




Our love is forever


Those memories we had, under the rainbow
when sun was so bright, when you told me im right
Was the moment of my life, i told you the secret
whispered it in your ear, our love is forever

Our love is forever, remember those words
when you are away, our love will remain
cant get you out of my mind
even tho you`r far away
i can feel you here with me

After all these years alone
sun is still shining in my eyes
Those words you said before you left
makes me miss you even more
Even tho you are gone
Those words you said wont leave me alone

Our love is forever, remember those words
when you are away, our love will remain
cant get you out of my mind
even tho you`r far away
i can feel you here with me

After all the time we had, i always wanted more
you told me you never leave, from the moment we met
i could see it in your eyes, i knew that was a lie
but still i loved you from the bottom of my heart

Our love is forever, remember those words
when you are away, our love will remain
cant get you out of my mind
even tho you`r far away
i can feel you here with me

Waiting you to say those words again

Not a bad first draft my friend. I'm not sure I get what the secret is you mentioned in the 1st verse or what "you were right about". I see what you are trying to convey in the song and I think you do partially but I am left with questions. You have a couple grammatical slip ups "forgot the "the" in second line 1st verse. But those are no biggies (But always try your best to clean those before posting, so peeps don't tune out). I enjoyed the read overall and I think for a first draft it aint shabby at all. Like the story and I think with some rewording and tweaks here and there, it could really start to shine. Nice write Juhnu.

This has the making of a nice "pop" song or "easy listening"(hey,I don't know what they call songs these days,I'm going back to juke box labels)song.If LooknGlass likes it,you're on the right track,after all,he is my second favorite writer on this site,as I write these words!