Untitled work in progress thingy here... Just a thought

Wake all my ladies up
Slide out of the sheets
A million broken hearts
A million broken dreams

Now call my guys in
We see you threw the fall
Like hungry wolves you prey
Like hungry wolves you call

In the place where no one sees
We tell them we run things
But when you calm me down
I, I'll look around

I see the broken teeth and crooked smiles
Those wrist scars they stretch for miles

But when you come to cause harm
You'll only hurt yourself
Because in the long run...
You come undone

In the place where no one sees
We tell them we run things
But when you calm me down
I, I'll look around

I see the broken teeth and crooked smiles
Those wrist scars they stretch for miles

SS,I read both this and your other new one.I like them both,but this,straight ahead rock,is what really turns me on.You always have a kinda "retro" vibe going,which is a good thing!I love your easy to understand and straight ahead lyrics!Keep on keeping on!

What a way to welcome someone back! lol Thanks Doug! I never considered myself retro... but I can totes dig it lol

I can see what Doug means by retro. But I think it's a timeless kind of retro that never falls out of fashion. The singer-songwriter communicating in the most direct way with the audience. Neil Young-retro, rather than The Monkees-retro. I hope you complete the song, Mrs Stripes!

Originally Posted by Peter Both

I can see what Doug means by retro. But I think it's a timeless kind of retro that never falls out of fashion. The singer-songwriter communicating in the most direct way with the audience. Neil Young-retro, rather than The Monkees-retro. I hope you complete the song, Mrs Stripes!

That's exactly what I meant!A good song is a good song, regardless of the year it was written.I meant your writing is retro,like the "good stuff" we used to hear in the good ole days!

This is an interesting start I really love the chorus. I'm not really sure what your meaning for this line is "We see you threw the fall" or the entire song but I was able to come up with my own meaning which is good. Overall its a nice job so far.

Originally Posted by Johnb31

This is an interesting start I really love the chorus. I'm not really sure what your meaning for this line is "We see you threw the fall" or the entire song but I was able to come up with my own meaning which is good. Overall its a nice job so far.

John,I interpreted "We see you threw the fall" to mean,we understand you,although you've made mistakes or bad choices.I also thought of looking at someone,at a waterfall,seeing thru the stream of water.That was a fleeting image,but why not share it!

Doug you hit it on the head lol the part about mistakes not waterfalls haha :P

Sweater, this must be my favourite of yours so far! Such well done description of feelings isn't an easy thing to do.
"Wrist scars that stretch for miles" is a brilliant line indeed.
It is intense and meaningful. Thanks, dear <3 Thanks a lot indeed!