Non-native speaker's lyrics in english

Thread: Non-native speaker's lyrics in english

Tags: feel for the language, folk, pop, rock
  1. TotS said:

    Default Non-native speaker's lyrics in english

    Good morning I am a singer/songwriter, playing mostly a mix of folk/pop/rock/jazz and I am writing my lyrics in English. However, as I am not a native speaker there might be two problems: The first one is simply grammar. If you can find any mistakes, please let me know. Second, and that one is harder to solve for me: the feel for the language. A friend of mine who is from the UK put it in the following words: "Your lyrics are technically correct. BUT sometimes I have to read them twice to understand. And sometimes you do not recognize that a line, a verse, a word might be correct but...ugly. Bumbling." And I know what he is trying to tell me from listening to "bad" poets and songwriter in my native language. So... Maybe you could take a look at this first piece? And let me know, what you think? Is it "smooth" enough? Does it have a little beauty? Or is more like fingernails on a chalkboard? Thank you in advance,

    TotS

    In my desk (working title)

    There are days the world’s to fast
    Every time you think you got
    A step closer to the step upfront

    There’s another thing, a flop
    And every time you see the top
    You’re already falling down

    Ref
    I wish there’d be place to halt
    To take a break and make time stop
    A secret hideout for myself
    And maybe you, but no one else


    A smell of unwashed cloth and stuff
    That lives forever on my desk
    The scent of long forgotten dreams
    And nowadays necessities

    Your postcard onthe wall fell down
    The letters I should write lay still
    Together with the books to fill
    The chaos that I call my own

    Ref

    Bridge
    Do you know that I still have the box?
    With our plan to free our souls?
    It’s buried down in junk and stuff
    But still alive and ready to be done

    Ref

    Maybe I should make the call
    It’s just so ****ing long ago
    What if, if you’re ready to go?
     

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