My first song- Midnight In The Lion's Den

Here's the first song I have ever written. I wrote it last week and I am hoping for some criticism. The music for it is kind of psychedelic, but I am still working on that. Thanks for the help.

Dark climbs to the sky,
Midnight in the Lion’s Den.
A chill runs through my spine,
But I feel the warmth of my friend.
The dark is deep and coyotes howl to the moon,
Light shines through the gloom.


We see the edge of the land,
But freedom is just out of hand.
We whisk through trees of shadow,
The pursuit of lawful lights, an awful glow.
Think I’m safe; I must free my senses,
The only thing that keeps me boundless.

Midnight in the Lion’s Den,
And I don’t know if I’ll make it through.
I wish I were free like I was then,
But instead I am in deep pursuit.

Out of breath and out of time,
Waiting by the pond, black and arcane.
Buried treasure to later find,
The hidden cache, time spent in vain.
Time slips; down the hourglass fall the grains,
Through winding paths and forbidden plains.

Midnight in the Lion’s Den,
And I don’t know if I’ll make it through.
I wish I were free like I was then,
But instead I am in deep pursuit.

I feel the rush and adrenalin flow,
Cruise on to the streetlight glow.
Flying past the Guardian’s shade,
We race to freedom, no debt to be paid.

Midnight in the Lion’s Den,
And know I’ll make it through.
I’ll be free like I was then,
No more fleeing from you.

It definatey has a poetic feel to it, i can feel your emotions as i read it. Thats what you want a person listining and reading your lyrics to feel.... the passion inside that nobody else sees, that same feeling you get from a sweet song, the hairs on your neck stand still... Thats what you want in a song, passion. i can feel it when i read it so good job. Some critisicm? Could use a better title and dont repeat "midnight in the lions den." It doesnt feel for me you know. O and one more thing. dont take other peoples advice. I know that makes me a hipocrite because i gave you advice and you can chose to take what i said or not, make your own choices and make them with passion, youll go far.

nice job i rate it a 8/10

~ Gawain (death_by_munkies@hotmail.com) ~