New lyrics I wrote- first draft.

All right I thought I would right a quick song, and I thought it might be fun just to see what would happen if I just went straight out and wrote it without making any corrections besides spelling. Any way just a rough draft. Its about an obsessive bi-polar guy in love... well sort of... Tell me what you think!

Don’t even know your name
Can’t recall your face
And I only have myself to blame
But it still hurts all the same

All I can remember is your laughter
The way you tossed your hair
And your angelic aroma

Do you even remember me?
I couldn’t even say hi
Do you remember me?
I saw you wave goodbye

Years have passed
I counted every second away
You say they went so fast
I can’t even stand the eternity of the day

Do you know how it feels when I look at you?
Do you know how it hurts when you tell me its true
I hope you know that were through

What is this feeling
Of complete freedom?
What is this feeling
Of this cold trigger

BOOM!

This heaven is hell
Without that wedding bell
SO I GO ON ON ON!
WITHOUT YOU!!!
I’M GOIN DOWN DOWN DOWN!
I NEED YOU!!!
I NEED YOU!!!
I NEED YOU!!!
I NEED nothing from your ****ing home, you little skank *****, didn’t give me anything but PAIN!!!!

started off nice, then the end was eminemesque hehe
good work though.

Agreed with poster above me.
Good start.
But ending makes me say just

i agree with the two above me its gr8 apart from the end when u finish it let me kno...

Liked it, not the ending though