One day I saw a girl
She was the sun on a cloudy day
The other day she disappeared
Cause she forgot to eat

Chorus:
You’re such a lovely girl
Why couldn’t I met you before
I really need ya baby
Oh, when will you come back?

Let’s play prince and princess
You’re the princess locked in a castle
And I’m the prince on the white horse
Who’s going to save you
Cause you make me feel what lovers feel

You’re such a lovely girl
Why couldn’t I met you before
I really need ya baby
Oh, when will you come back?

You’ve taken over my mind
Sinde my eyes have seen you
You’re like a sorceress of love
Who has cast a love spell on me

You’re such a lovely girl
Why couldn’t I met you before
I really need ya baby
Oh, when will you come back?

Oh, baby you stole my heart
Can you please give it back to me
I know you’re a strong woman
I know you’re gonna be cured
Oh please come back, my sweet angel!


it's my first lyric so I don't know if it's good or not.
would it be good to show to a girl?

wo0ow

it's so nice

^_^

thank you

yes, its really nice, i would surely like to get poem like that from a boy

more reactions please

you've bested me in a love song! XD The whole prince and princess stanza was corny but quite tender, the stanza: "Oh, baby you stole my heart, can you give t back to me" was funny and cute because it was literal but it's cool at the same ^^ I like it. my love song called "Baby, I can't stop loving you at first" is more feeling of love ache when it was grasp by girl's beauty or cuteness and experience of heartache. my favorite stanza of from was "What this love is for? a mixtures of sweetness and poison, Warmth surrounds the heart when it’s at the first sight, but its suffers in pain when its get rejected in day or night." but still your song capture various atmosphere of emotions for audience and mine mostly serious.

It's good but the lyrics don't seem to match, if you're after a straight beat then the words need to be of similar length sylable-wise.

more reactions please