Need help with these lyrics! New to the forum...critics welcome!

Thread: Need help with these lyrics! New to the forum...critics welcome!

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  1. Turkey said:

    Question Need help with these lyrics! New to the forum...critics welcome!

    Hey everyone, It's good to be a part of this forum! I've been looking it over and everyone seems pretty cool! I have some lyrics I would like you all to look over. They may make no sense (they do to me but that's prolly cause I wrote 'em!), but I want your opinions anyway. Say whatever you'd like (what you think it's about, if you like it, don't like it, what you would change, why), all I ask for is honesty! Thanks in advance!


    Everyone thinks that everyone
    Will turn out to be like that silver colored book you sleep on
    Inside the pages turn
    Without help from my overrun
    Yet firm heart and what I hide inside
    Of my collection of awful little tales
    The pages just turn beside my mind
    Nothing is breathing in
    I’ll never get to inhale the rust from the dusty little book
    Over in the corner, I think it reads “My Surrender”
    Informal start
    I’ll never even touch it

    And I’m not quite scared anymore to find out what the lie is
    That everyone is sketched and unprepared
    We could have been that book
    All the things inside of it are terrible but
    It’s something that everyone needs
    Almost like a dream
    Made out of friction and disease
    These seeds are my addiction and keys
    And at the end we’ll be marching on our knees
    To the start

    Inside the light shines reflected off the television screen
    We both know it’s too good to be true
    And it will never do to be without you
    But it’s alright
    It’s alright
    I’ll try to end this chapter, try to close the door
    To my room with hundreds of books

    We should be opposite this door now
    But you can’t see how when you think about
    Why you let me down, That day
    you tried to drown that sliver book
    Your blood pumped fast, your fingers shook
    When you realized all it took
    Was a chance and some minutes
    But you knew your limits
    You just knew you did
    See, you’re the one finding out now
    The quiet way to make a frown
    Without a sound
     
  2. Raisa-Miruna's Avatar

    Raisa-Miruna said:

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    Well I had to read them many times to get some meanings...But eventually they're nice. I don't think anyone would try to understand, maybe if u ask them to try to. I'm curious how they sound with the music.
    Most lyrics of famous songs don't have meanings, but they're short usually, they're "singable", they stay in your mind cause they have repeating words or easy to remain in your mind. Which is not your case.

    Anyway it's nice, it's original....What I understood with my weird way of thinking () , the silver book and all the lightnings and stories inside are a metaphore for your soul, your life...I wonder if that "you" in the beginning is the girl you loved, the girl who you're singing to...If so, she's the one sleeping on your book, holding it... nice image...

    Who's that "it" who reads My surrender? Because if it's "it", the silver book, or the heart, I don't make any connection...A book who reads another book? Anyway I think I'm too analytical, the lyrics are still nice.

    At least could you explain the end? I'm curious ...She's the one who is learning how to frown quietly (you were the first to do that?)...Imhhh perhaps it makes sense...

    Good luck!