Into the Tide [Please comment!]

This is a song I wrote earlier today at school.
I like it. But I want some other opinions.
Things in brackets, means its being screamed.
When the screams are in the song,
they are mostly in sync with what is being sung.

Into the Tide

I just want to see you smile again,
Like you did before,
But I know I can’t,
Because we are no more.

I’d give anything to go back to that time,
That time filled with joy.
But I have gone too long,
Without your touch.
Now I feel myself slip,
Into the tide…

Before I jump into the tide,
Please spare me some time,
To tell you why I have held on so long.
It’s more than I can take.
I tried to keep strong,
I tried to hold on so long.
Before I jump into the tide…
Before I jump into the tide…

I wish I could be with you again,
The way we used to be.
But I know it will never be,
You and me.
So here I stand…

I’d give anything to go back to that time,
That time filled with joy.
But I have gone too long,
Without your touch.
Now I feel myself slip,
Into the tide…

Before I jump into the tide,
Please spare me some time,
To tell you why I have held on so long.
It’s more than I can take.
I tried to keep strong,
I tried to hold on so long.
Before I jump into the tide…
Before I jump into the tide…

I want to see your smile again,
But I know I can’t…
I can’t…
I CAN’T!

[No music during this:]

I’d give anything to go back to that time,
That time filled with joy.
But I have gone too long,
Without your touch.
Now I feel myself slip,
Into the tide…

Before I jump into the tide,
Please spare me some time,
To tell you why I have held on so long.
It’s more than I can take.
I tried to keep strong,
I tried to hold on so long. [SO LONG]
BEFORE I JUMP INTO THE TIDE,
Please spare me some time,
To tell you why I have held on so long.
It’s more than I can take.
I tried to keep strong,
I tried to hold on so long. [SO LONG]
Before I jump into the tide…
Before I jump into the tide…

oh my god... that what exactly happen to me for past few weeks with the girl I'm in love... O.o I really love it, but to make it better i'll point out some grammers to fix.

"Now I feel myself slided
Slipping into the tide...

Before I jump into the tide,
Please spare me some time to confide,
To tell you why I have held on so long.
It’s more than I can take.
I tried to keep myself strong,
I tried to hold on so long.
Before I jump into the tide…
Before I jump into the tide…"

although it not much to change to change. oh well it's good anyway.

Thanks for the comment Krent.
But I think I shall keep everything the same.
You do have a good suggestion though.
It's just that the way I sing it in my head is really good,
the other I don't get as good of sound going..

Thank you though.

Great song. I know what you mean.