This is the beginning of a song i've been writing. I'm really stuck on it so I'd really appreciate some advice. It's based on my best friend and how he gives up on life.



Don't look at me
With those bloodshot eyes
You're piercing through my heart
You have so much to offer
But why do you throw
Everything away?

Chorus:Another days has come
And gone
Another tear he cries alone
He waits for his mistakes
And iniquities
To consume him
Bit by bit


yeah... not my best