Julianne(new chorus?)

I posted the original version of this song earlier, then i thought of a new chorus that I really like. I think the old chorus tells the story a lot better, but the knew one is a lot more catchy.

Julianne

Down by the riverside,
a lonely girl sat and cried her eyes out
oh Julianne why do you pout
on a day when no clouds are out

Up by the brewery,
Julianne talked with me about the rain
how sunny days were all the same
and she cried for clouds until they came

(Old Chorus)
When the clouds blew in she stopped to cry
the rain washed salt-tears from her eyes
and her smile came out
it was so bright the sun went down
and she laughed
we danced all day benieath the sky
my Julianne and I
and her smile came out
it was so bright the sun went down
and she laughed

Sitting out by the peir,
said lets move away from here, she complied
and the tears dried in her eyes
we said all our goodbyes

Always beneath the clouds
where no sun could seek us out, we were a pair
there was always rain to spare
and her smile wasn't so rare

(New Chorus?)
Where are the clouds?
i swore i'd bring them back
for Julianne
Where is the rain?
its been to long since it fell
into her hand
oh Julianne

But one day she washed away,
and i was left alone to play in the rain
only the sun could burn away the pain
rainy days just never felt the same

(Chorus)

Please leave your coments, good or bad, i really appreciate them.

But one day she washed away,
and i was left alone to play in the rain
only the sun could burn away the pain
rainy days just never felt the same

I like the melancholy...but I am not good enough to set the tunes LOL I need more structure...

lol, all i can say is that it works in my mind

I personally like the old chorus better because it adds a moment of happiness to the song. While that might be the opposite of your point to show that it hurts. I think that it's need because you need to show why you fell so bad. You need to show that you fell far and now your really hurting cause of it

does that make sense

love the song

i don't really like "Oh julianne why do you pout when no clouds are out" The 'pout'sounds like it's just there to ryhme, like you wouldn't have chosen it otherwise. How about "Oh julianne why do grey skies light up your brown/blue/green eyes"