4th Gear - New Song, first post

Wrote this a while back, and it sounds super awesome on guitar, so let me know what you think

Verse1:
Turning
Leaving you behind
Our pedals
Start moving out of time
And though I see you fall beside me,
I cannot pick you up,
Our path split down the center
Strong concepts now corrupt.

Chorus:
And Waiting at the cross-roads, watching someone else pass by,
You pray they pass on quickly and they're words were not all lies.
But as the yield sign shows us: things don't often change.
So cut your losses, avert you gaze, and turn around again.

Verse2:
Questions
From unfamiliar faces
With withered pleas from simple war torn eyes
I cannot find the answers, for they're lost in the translation,
Of lonely nights, though questions still outcried.

Chorus:
And Waiting at the cross-roads, watching someone else pass by,
You pray they pass on quickly and they're words were not all lies.
But as the yield sign shows us: things don't often change.
So cut your losses, avert you gaze, and turn around again.

Bridge:
As unfamiliar streets rise up to meet your steady pace
And what you thought would be your finish line was just your fall from grace,
You try to see the bike trail but you're blinded by headlights,
Your lonely, sad existence lacks direction and insight.
There's no path of least resistance, and your strength is on its last,
You're temped to just turn around and go the downhill path.

Verse:
And Waiting at the cross-roads, watching someone else pass by,
You pray they pass on quickly and they're words were not all lies.
But as the yield sign shows us: things don't often change.
So cut your losses, avert you gaze, and turn around again.

Closure:
And in the end it doesn't matter how far or fast you go,
Cause when you pick it up next Summer, you still have to start out slow.

This song is pretty damn good. I love the analogy you used to describe the underlying story. It sounds really thought out and flows very well in my opinion. Great job, keep up the good work!

Great song, BUT BUT BUT there are lines that you shoud fix...such as

1) But as the yield sign shows us: things don't often change.

Maybe something like

From walk to run light like the yellow sun stays set in its ways, won't often change

Feel free to email with any ideas. I like this song. Check out some of my posts on here if you'd like to return the favor. I'd love to hear what yall think of mine.

tsortore@gmail.com

Gee wow, this is amazing, just amazing. The only thing i would think to make it better is put the wrods 4th gear in there somewhere. I just like songs that have the title in it.