1st verse of a new song I am working on called You and Me, Stuck

Don’t waste your time, you gotta wait your turn.
Whether or not you did the crime, you’re gonna burn.
Oh it’s just….just another day o’ spending what you earn.
Don’t ask me why, things I cannot discern.
(Why )Nothing costs a dime, nothing can return.
You and me stuck in line, when are we gonna learn.

turn
burn
earn
discern
return
learn... i hope you understand what I'm getting at

what is it about? i dont get it :P

its sounds more like a rap than a song

well...ignoring all the purposful rhymes, its a slower, darker song in the harmonic minor scale. There so much space between the lines in the song that the rhymes are heard, but not really recognized.

And thats the beauty of some lyrics, and what hooks people into them, the elusive meaning. It will become more clear when I finish posting the rest of the song.

Just work harder

I love constructive criticism, which is why when I see song on here that needs work I do my best to help it.

Thanks for the tip, but (no offense) thats a half assed, uneducated response Nemah.