Im a normal girl living in my own little world
He was my shining star the only thing that lit it by far
When he's gone, nothing can be done, my love for him is way too strong
I fall down till he's back, to save me from my attack
When i wake up and he disappears
I stare up but nothing clears
My sky is dark, with no more stars
Nothing but big iron bars
So i just fall back down to the ground
I looked up and i saw a light
Is it real, or is it just my sight
I got up to get a better look
Oh, wait its just a book
But he's on the cover
And it says 'Your My One and Only Lover'
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do you like these lyrics?
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yo, the lyrics are ok but I felt that the rhyming was forced.
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Yes, I agree. In particular:
I looked up and i saw a light
Is it real, or is it just my sight
I got up to get a better look
Oh, wait its just a book
You'd do better to change the final word of the earlier lines than to force the latter ones to fit them - as an example, 'light' could be 'glow', giving you the option of 'know', 'grow', 'flow', 'though', etc. -
You see i thought of that cause it sounded forced, but i wanted the whole look-book, so that cover-lover would work, because thats the whole point of this. Thanks for your help though
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In that case perhaps something like:
A glimpse from the corner of my eye
Could it be that this wasn't goodbye?
I take a second look just to be sure
And find it's a book, partially obscured
Not gold, I know, but it took me two minutes, and shows there are lots of ways to say the same thing -
chiq, I actually really liked that!
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Thanks
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i can really relate to this