this is supposed to be funny!

i know this is a very long one but i'm told its hilarious. trouble is my bg is sooo bad. please help


eh, miloto to kolko e talantlivo i kolko umnichko
a:
napravo na momenti se chudia koi gospod ni e sabral da se poznavame, chestno.
a:
dnes stoiah i si misleh kakvi gotini macki ste, vinagi mi e hubavo s vas
a:
koia li shte si vzema nakraia hahahaha
a:
stiga si klukarila s valia i katia sega

a:
izbiaga ma, dusha
B:
tukmo se vurnah
B:
dusha

a:
a taka
B:
muja mi zvunna
B:
na video call
a:
aaaaa
B:
i vikam sega tupo da chatya prez tva vreme
a:
kak e myja
B:
toi me vijda
a:
aha
B:
mi dobre e
B:
tupo mu e che sum tuk ama niama kak
a:
prati li mu mn "moi" ot bate a hahhahahaaa
a:
aha
a:
gadno e
a:
lipsva ti sigurno i na teb?
B:
abe strannoto e che ne mnogo
B:
ama da, lipsva mi
a:
i na men moita vze vaobshte da ne mi lipsva
a:
kak stava taka ne znam
B:
i az ne moga da si go obiasnia
B:
stranno e
a:
neshto mnogo mi lazeshe po nervichkite
B:
az si mislia che ti lipsva dokato ti e gadno neshto
a:
i mai se prechupih, veche mi e vse taia dali sym s neia ili ne
B:
ti sega se entusiazira za pavleto
B:
i zatva
B:
kefi li te?
a:
mi kefi me, ne si li lichi
a:
ama az nali znaesh, ne gi mislia, shtoto nai-dobre taka
a:
kakvoto-takova
a:
znaesh go i ti tova pravilo
B:
a, da, absolutno
B:
pone e umna macka
a:
da be, pisna mi ot niskointeligentni da ti kaja
a:
napravo niama i kakvo da si kajem s niakoi modeli
a:
pyk s vas kolko mi e iako
B:
hahahaha
B:
s nas samo prostotii
a:
chestno, otdavna ne biah se chuvstval taka, da mi teche i misyl i prikazka i vsichko positive go useshtam
a:
vijdash kakyv sym tia dni, veselko mi e
a:
a onaia moita mnogo me depresira
B:
da, taka e
radvam se, che imame zasluga
shto te depresira?

a:
mi..trudno da opredelia
a:
otnoshenie, nastroenie vsichko mi predava
kato se vidia s neia i posle sym kato bolen 2 dni
B:
shto be kvo tia namusena li e
kakva e
a:
postoianno
a:
patologichen sluchai
a:
skuchaeshta princesa-goinesa
B:
hahahahha
B:
seriozno li
B:
tia s kvo se zanimava
a:
s nishto
a:
tova e problema
B:
seriozno?
B:
ne uchi li pone?
a:
uchi
a:
ama zadochno
a:
ne be, da ne ia izkarvam sega nai-loshoto neshto na sveta
a:
ama mnogo mi vzima energiata, ako me razbirash
a:
ot 3 dni ne sym ia chuval, mnogo mi e dobre
a:
dnes i se obadih nabyrzo da ia chuia, niama da se vijdame blizkite 4-5 dni
B:
hahahahaha bravo chestitio
ama nie mn shte te izmariame tezi dni
a:
uuuuff gorkia az vie napravo ste mi kato lekarstvo
B:
hahahaha hubavo hubavo ima veselba ne e kato da niamaa
a:
daaa
B:
ti obadi li se na kaka pavli?
a:
ne vidia li che si pisahme sms-i 2h
B:
ne be az ot ku da znam che s neya si pishesh i kvo i kvo neshtointeresno
a:
mi nishto, oshte general zakachalki ama kylve iako
B:
hahahaha ujasen si kulve vika
a:
hahahaa prostak !
B:
ti si prostak !
a:
da de
a:
nali znaesh, poniakoga malko groznichko se izkazvam ama sym dobrichak po dusha hahahhaha
B:
hahahahaha, da, ama pokaji ia taya dobra dusha ne se izkazvai taka
a:
eeee, naredi me
a:
ok, shte gledam da si pokazvam
B:
ama tupichko che tia si trugva
a:
eeee, jivot dylyg az nali ti kazah, nishto ne si mislia
B:
da de Viarno ama vse pak niama vreme daje za zabava
a:
eeee, nali vijdash vse me vleche kym vashata kompaniika

B:
hahahaha da
a:
ne moje chovek da si izbiaga ot sydbata dokyto biaga ot neia, sreshta ia zad ygyla
B:
za dobro ili za losho e taka puk ot nas oshte po-trudno da izbyagash

a:
ama az skoro osyznah, che biagam, ama sreshtu vas chak se zamislih za mnogo neshta
B:
za kvo se zamisli?
a:
za mnogo neshta me karate da se zamisliam naprimer kak moga da se ojenia za niakolko jeni ednovremenno . maitap de mi mnogo ste realni, istinski beeeee
B:
hahahahahahahah
a otivai v arabskiya svyat
a:
napravo mi vyrnahte jelanieto za vsichko
niama niama, az samo edna iskam. ama problema e, che vsichkite ste gotini
B:
oh milia
B:
ne ti e lesno

a:
az sym sviknal dusha, da mi e trudno. ama napravo se zamislih kakvo pravia s razni evtini macki, deto dori ne mogat da zastanat do men, po nikakyv nachin
nali znaesh, kak poniakoga dori ne mojesh da si predstavish kak niakoi shte e do teb

B:
da, yasno mi e na men tochno
B:

a:
dushicoooo, kak da ne se zamisli chovek kato vi gleda
aide, az shte biagam kym kuhniata i posle shte liagam
leka nosht i utre shte lafim "live"
eleonor nali mi naredi - "11 na beisa"
leka nosht i ..... pregrydki, celuvki, ......
B:
lekichka a
aide do utre

cmon folks what does it mean?

Ok let me try ;]

Oh, the sweet little one, how talanted and smart it is
a:
honestly, I wonder at times which God has gathered us together and allowed us to know each other
a:
Today I was thinking on what cool chicks you are, it's always fun with you
a:
Which one do you think he will choose at the end hahahah
a:
Now, stop gossiping with Valia and Katia

a:
you/he/she ran away, dear
b:
I just returned
b:
dear

a:
good
b:
my man just called
b:
on video call
a:
aaaaaaaa (i.e I got it ;])
b:
and I was like I'll be rude to chat while talking
a:
how's the man
b:
he can see me
a:
ok
b:
well, he's fine
b:
he's sad that I'm here but there's no other way
a:
did you say "moi" from my older brother hahaha
a:
yeah
a:
it's bad
a:
you probably miss him too?
b:
It's strange, but not much
b:
but yeah, I miss him
a:
same here, I'm starting not to miss mine (my girl/wife) at all
a:
how did it turn out tlike that, I don't know
b:
me too, I cannot explain it
b:
it's strange
a:
she was getting on my nervs much
b:
I think you miss her only while you're feeling bad
a:
I already gave up, I don't care if I'm with her ot not
b:
you now became an enthusiast for Pavleto (a girl .. maybe her name is Pavleta? hah I don't know. It might also be a boy with the name Pavel ;])
b:
and that's why
a:
do you like it/her/him?
b:
yeah I do, can't you tell it?
a:
but you know me, I don't think about it/them cuz that the best way
a:
whatever happens - happens (or something with that meaning ;])
a:
you know that too
b:
yeah, absolutely
b:
at least she's a smart chick
a:
yeah, I'm telling you, I'm sick and tired of unintelligent ones
a:
we don't have what to talk about with some models
a:
and on the opposite, it's so cool to be with you
b:
ahahaa
b:
with us, u do only bullshit (ok, not literally said, but I couldn't think of an English expression;] but it ordinary means that you waste your time with someone but it's still cool and fun)
a:
honestly, it's been long since I felt like that - my thoughts and words were flowing smoothly
a:
you see me, these days I'm real positive
a:
while my girl is only depressing me
b:
yeah, I see it
b:
I'm glad we could help
b:
why is she depressing you

-------

Ok, I can't continue now cuz it's too long ;] Next time i'll probably finish it if it's not already finished by some lovely Bulgarian person :]

thanks Lopatka keep going (im still waiting for the funny bit

Part two:

a:
it's hard to define
a:
attitude, mude, she transfers everything to me when I meet with her and then it's like I'm sick for two days after that
b:
why,what is she, sulky or what
a:
all the time
a:
it's a patological case
a:
a bored princess-goinesa (sorry, I have no idea what the last word means ;] )
b:
hahahah
b:
really?
b:
what is she doing for living
a:
nothing
a:
that's the problem
b:
really?
b:
doesn't she study at least
a:
she does
a:
but zadochno (now .. I don't know the English equivalent for this .. it's when someone studies at home and then only goes to take his/her exams .. like doesn't attend lectures)
a:
well, no, I don't want to make her look like worst thing in the world now
a:
but she sucks my energy out
a:
I haven't heard from her from 3 days and I'm pretty fine now
a:
I just called her today briefly and we won't be seeing each other for the next 3-4 days
b:
hahahaha, congrats
b:
but we'll be exhausting you these days
a:
oh, poor me, you'll be like my medicine
b:
good, good, there's fun .. it's not like there's nothing
a:
yess
b:
did you call sister Pavli? (he uses "kaka" which means older sister in Bulgarian.)
a:
didn't you see I was writing her messages for two hours
b:
no, how am I supposed to know you were texting her. And? Something interesting?
a:
nothing much, we're still messing around but she's buying it
b:
hahahah you're terrible. "she's buying it" he says
a:
hahah jerk!
b:
you're a jerk
a:
well yeah
a:
you know me, I express bad at times but I have a good soul hahaha
b:
yes, but show us that soul, don't talk like that
a:
wow, you fixed me
a:
ok, I'll be showing it
b:
but it's a bit sad that she's leaving
a:
well, long life, I told you that I don't think about anything
b:
well true, but there's not even time for fun
a:
well, don't you see, I'm always drawn to your company

b:
hahah yes
a:
man can't run away from his destiny. while runing from it, he meets it around the corner
b:
that's true, for good or bad. and it's even harder to run away from us

a:
recently I realized that I was running, but towards you. I even started thinking about many stuff
b:
what did you start thinking about?
a:
for many things, for instance how to get married to many women at the same time. I'm kidding. well, you're real, you're genuine
b:
hahahah
now go to the arab world
a:
you just gave me back the desire for everything
no,no I want only one. but the problem is that you're all cool
b:
poor thing
b:
you don't have it easy

a:
dear, I'm used to having it the hard way. but I started thinking about what I'm doing with cheap (like ... easy, I think :]) chicks who cannot even stand right next to me in any way. You know, sometimes you cannot imagine someone will be beside you

b:
yeah, it's clear to me

a:
little soul (this means "dear/honey") how not to start pondering when someone sees you
come on, I'l be going to the kitchen and then I'll be going to bed
good night and tomorrow will be chatting "live"
Eleonor ordered me -"11 at beisa" (Beis? don't know, probably it's the name of some place)
good night and .. hugs, kisses
b:
good night
and see you tomorrow

hahah know i get it. Its a pisstake of a friend thanks again.