First Song

This is my first song I've ever wrote, its for a metal band please critique me.
I run away,
you hit the floor.
Your screams still ring inside my head.

Only if you'd just run away now,
go away so you're never seen.
then you'll see,
see the dark side of me.
Yeah, now you see ,
now you see the dark side,
the dark side of me.
Broken bones and bitter air,
you hit the floor.
how could this be?
Be the dark side of me.
What is this thing inside of me?
It always brings me to my knees.
My knees
there's no emotion left inside,
This is the dark side.
Yeah, now you see ,
now you see the dark side,
the dark side of me.
Run away now before it's too late
the dark side is coming, it cannot wait
so run away, be let free
be free from the dark side of me.

this is the wrong area for this.