This was my first song please comment

Thread: This was my first song please comment

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  1. ben2012 said:

    Default This was my first song please comment

    The song i posted here was the first one i ever wrote. I've changed it dozens of times and i think this is the best i can make it. Please comment any suggestions are welcome as well.

    Cruel as You

    And so I sit here
    surrounded by my peers
    but still alone

    I wonder to my self
    how did reach this place
    of peace and quite

    It dawns on my mind
    that a certain point in time
    was the reason and the rhyme
    when you were all that was on my mind

    when you turned away
    On what I thought
    Was the worst day
    Of my life

    I thought my life was done
    I thought I was at my end
    I thought I lost the only fight
    I had won


    Boy, was I wrong (in the back round)


    When I tried to talk
    to find the reason why
    you acted as if I died

    despite all my attempts
    my words didn't make dents
    in your cold shoulder

    I started to realize
    That you were
    A cold hearted *****
    Who wanted nothing more
    Than to break all the ties we had

    They say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger
    I say what doesn't kill you
    doesn't care enough to finish you

    and that’s all
    You will ever be
    Just another blackened memory
    In the long
    Tapestry
    Of
    my past


    Know I am free
    Thank you
    For opening my eyes
    To what you really are

    I honestly hope
    You don’t have to go through
    What I did too
    Because I’m not
    Nearly as cruel
    As you
     

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