memories (not a love song)

i wrote this while i was listening to the radio and i did not like wat they were calling hip hop. so i took my pen and paper and wrote this. dont know why this came up though

(chorus) x2
all the days that i pray
for all the stuff that we had to go back to its old ways
but who am i to make the change
im just a average kid from l.a (life was good)

(verse 1)
back when i was young
nothing mattered at all
everything seemed prefect
with you and me thats what i recall
we grew up side by side
and all the problems we let it slide
livin life the way we defined it till we die
we entered school together
we were closer then brothers
we watched our back for each other
you and me we were like soldiers
messin with the chicks at chill parties
makin a toast to all the peeps and you and me
and we would spend time on the roof till we passed out
it did not matter whether it was day or lights out
i made sure everything would last
live in the present and made sure i remember the past
but now that yo gone
its much different in this world just being alone
but always remember youll always be my homeboy


(chorus) x2
all the days that i pray
for all the stuff that we had to go back to its old ways
but who am i to make the change
im just a average kid from l.a (life was good)

verse 2)
as we grew older things started to change
mainstream media just taking away
young minds and making them think that or this way
and everything that i saw and knew is looking a lil strange
cant believe that you started to blend in with the whole crowd
just thought youd be gone for a lil while
be a lie if i told you that if i didnt miss you
what in hell happen to me and you
i tried to drag u closer to me
but wat are the odd
i started to see
and i started to hate you
like you were like an enemy
living me here with just these stupid memories
how do you expect me to live
when you take the 1 thing that i love away from me
it was you itself(life was good)
rest in peace

(chorus) x2
all the days that i pray
for all the stuff that we had to go back to its old ways
but who am i to make the change
im just a average kid from l.a (life was good)

(verse 3)
still have hope for 1 day youd come back to me
cant wait till the day we'd chill as friends again we'd be
me telling stories of way before
to make sure that they will know (life was good)
but i do have 1 request
im sure ill regret
tell all them motherf*ckers who took you away
that they cant forget
that ima fight till i get wat i set out to get
because there not that much many of us left
and now all alone in the hall
at school ring ring ring got nobody to call
looking around and seeing us slowly dieing out
wish everything back then was still now
but till then ill say goodbye
hope you enjoy ur time
while i try to enjoy mine
all that i have is now these memories
of just you and me

(chorus) x2
all the days that i pray
for all the stuff that we had to go back to its old ways
but who am i to make the change
im just a average kid from l.a (life was good)
(fade)

got the message?

people plz say something?

I've been browsing these forums for a while now and haven't posted anything really but here are my thoughts ...

I'm not normally into hip-hop, rnb or rap ... But I like what you've come up with. Maybe read over it a couple of times and make a few changes ... The chorus for me just doesn't mesh well ... maybe that's just me. Overall good effort though.