I Can't Do This Anymore

Hi, everyone. I from Turkey and this one of my first songs. I am new to this so please don't be harsh on your comments.

I can't do this anymore
Done it my entire life
God knows how many lives was finished by me
God knows how many men's blood are on my hands
So much devastation
So much misery
So much pain
I can't do this anymore
I'm retiring from being a hired killer

It all started back in 1980
When I couldn't get in to law school
I became a dissapointment to my parents
All my friends told me that I was a failure
And nothing else
So I started by
Killing them all
My parents and everyone who thought
I was nothing but a failure

I can't do this anymore
Done it my entire life
God knows how many lives was finished by me
God knows how many men's blood are on my hands
So much devastation
So much misery
So much pain
I can't do this anymore
I'm retiring from being a hired killer

Then one day
I got an anyonmus call
The person on the other side
Told me he knew who I was
And what I did
And that he could make me a hired killer
If I wanted to join
I said yes
And thats how I became a killer

But now
I can't do this anymore
Done it my entire life
God knows how many lives was finished by me
God knows how many men's blood are on my hands
So much devastation
So much misery
So much pain
I can't do this anymore
I'm retiring from being a hired killer

I haven't recorded it yet but I think I found a suitable beat for it. Take a look if you like.
Here is the link. http://www.shadowville.com/1113/genr...s/cant-do-this

This is another one of my songs. I just wrote it yesterday.

Bloodstained all over the place
What a mess
What am I supposed to do next

I just killed ten more people in this room
That means tem more murder charges on my back
That means ten more peoples blood are on my hands
Ten more days I won't be able to sleep
Ten more times I'm going to wake up at nights

Bloodstained all over the place
What a mess
What am I supposed to do next

Somebody pressed the alarm
The cops are on their way
What am I supposed todo next
Should I run or should I just surrender
Well now it's too late
The SWAT already surrounded the place

Bloodstained all over the place
What a mess
What am I supposed to do next

Tomorrow I'm gonna go to court
With an armed escort
No matter what happens there
I will be facing death anyway
So why juxt commit suicide
And end thismiserable life

Bloodstained all over the place
What a mess
What am I supposed to do next

You're dead to me baby
You're so dead to me
Told me thousands of lies
Betrayed me too many times

I loved you with all of my heart
And this is what I get ing return
I always thought that I was lucky
Cause I thought
I never actually deserved you
But obviously
You're the one who doesn't deserve me after all

You're dead to me baby
You're so dead to me
Told me thousands of lies
Betrayed me too many times

At least tell me baby why?
Why hooked up with so many lies?
Why didn't you just confront me with it?

You're dead to me baby
You're so dead to me
Told me thousands of lies
Betrayed me too many times

I hope you will have a better life
Cause I know I will
And I wish good luck to your new man
Hope you don't btray him too
But I have a few words to say before finish this song

You're dead to me baby
You're so dead to me
Told me thousands of lies
Betrayed me too many times
And now I know why!!!

The school is so boring, I'm getting sick of this
The teachers are talking,to a bunch of dead bodies

From Monday to Friday, five days a week
8 hourse a day, the students are getting sick
From Mathematics to Science, they're all just a bunch of crap
To understand the history, you need to solve the mystery
And to solve the mystery, you need to understan the history

The school is so boring, I'm getting sick of this
The teachers are talking,to a bunch of dead bodies

The students do nothing, but yawn all day long
And complainig about everything, including recess time
They get angry, when they get caught breaking them
And then complain, when other break them too
They always make up studip lies, and then they insist they didn't lie

The school is so boring, I'm getting sick of this
The teachers are talking,to a bunch of dead bodies

We were in love for more than 30 years
Since the day we were born
Swang in the samecradle
Slept in the same bed
Grew up in the same house
Went to school together
All the things we had in common
All the things we did
All the memories we shared

What will happen to all of these beautiful things when I'M gone
Tell me baby what will you do when I'm gone
Will it be the same as if I was home
Tell me baby
How will you feel when I'm gone
Will you feel like the times you cuddled to me in bed
Or will a regular teddy bear replace that

How can you throw me away like a dirty piece of cloth so easily
After all the thingsI did for you
After all the things I whispered in your ears
Or was it all a lie
Did you really want to hurt me that bad
Tell me baby what did I ever do to you to get shot in the back
Tell me baby, just tell me

What will happen to all of these beautiful things when I'M gone
Tell me baby what will you do when I'm gone
Will it be the same as if I was home
Tell me baby
How will you feel when I'm gone
Will you feel like the times you cuddled to me in bed
Or will a regular teddy bear replace that

You left me with my destiny, along with a broken heart
You left me with my destiny, along with a broken heart
You made me sit in the corner of the room, and cry in the dark

I woke up this morning, at 3 o'clock
The cupboards were empty, and the fridge was full of junk
I begged you a thousand times "Baby please don't go!"
But you didn't listen to me anyway, and you left me all alone

You left me with my destiny, along with a broken heart
You left me with my destiny, along with a broken heart
You made me sit in the corner of the room, and cry in the dark

The wind is crushing on my face, like the waves crushing on the coast
It makes me remember all the mistakes I have done, since I was born
After all the things I did, to make you happy
Tell me baby, what was my mistake, that made you leave me

You left me with my destiny, along with a broken heart
You left me with my destiny, along with a broken heart
You made me sit in the corner of the room, and cry in the dark

The sun is burning me, like acid burning where ever it touches
It's such a painful illness that, it can't be cured with drugs
The water is trying to take me away, to places I don't wanna go
And you're sitting there and watching, like if nothing is happening at all

You left me with my destiny, along with a broken heart
You left me with my destiny, along with a broken heart
You made me sit in the corner of the room, and cry in the dark

I pray to God every day and every night, for you to come back
Baby I miss you so much, I've been suffering for years with that

We met in a bar remember?
And there I was
Too drunk and too blind
To see what I was falling for
But that was 2 decades ago
And no I'm more miserable
Than anyone in the world
Could ever be, And although,
You were a beauty which
I had never seen before,
You were just another devil
Wearing the mask of an angel

Some lyrics I wrote down today, while thinking of my ex-girlfriend.

She flew away and left me here,
Alone in the dark,
Shot in the chest three times
Left to die,
With nobody by my side

But there is an even bigger pain,
Then the bullets in my chest,
And that pain is to be left,
For something I haven't done
For a crime that I didn't commit

Something I wrote while thinking about one of my ex-girlfriends, who left me because she thought I was cheating on her. Although I wasn't.

With open arms,
Baby, I'll be waiting for you
In heaven, with open arms

Don't rush, take your time,
Live your life,
Till the end of your days,
When we will meet again,
When I will greet you again

With open arms,
Baby, I'll be waiting for you
In heaven, with open arms

When you look up in the sky,
And think of me
Don't fell sad,
Just be happy and smile,
Cause baby I'll be smiling back

So don't worry baby,
Cause when we meet again
I'll greet you with open arms,
Baby, I'll be waiting for you
In heaven, with open arms

I'm a sold out soldier
Killing people for a few dollars
And by that I mean millions and millions of dollars
But still a man's life isn't even worth the whole world
Cause now they haunt me in my dream every night
And I can't sleep
Not even with all the pills I take
No matter what I do from now on
I'm gonna burn in hell anyway
So why not just live your life as good as you can
Choosing your paths
Choosing your own ways
To deal with your sins
So don't let your one mistake
Get in your way
And don't think you're
Gonna burn in hell
Cause I doubt that you've killed as many people as I did
At least not more then 5923
Yeah, that's right
I can still remember the number
Remember how I killed each and every one of them
And most of them were just children
So as I was saying don't mess your life
Because of just one mistake or two
Cause in the end
You will remember them for the rest of your life
Sometimes you will forget about it
And sometimes you will again remember it
But know this that it will never go away permanently
Just temporarily
So don't worry
You won't burn in hell you
Cause you will already have punished yourself
Your whole life

And besides I'm absolutely sure that I will be there before you.

EDIT: I found a suitable beat too. According to my taste of course. http://www.shadowville.com/1106/genr...oncrete-jungle

If I had just read the signs
Maybe I wouldn't be in this mess
To correct the mistakes
I did in this life
Standing in the line
Waiting for my time
This is my third life
I just want to be myself
Don't know how to be someone else

That's another way to quit
I can just give up too
I am going to have a fourth life
And in that one I won't be any different
Than the last one
So why not just sell my soul to the devil
And kill my self after that
So that I can't be reborn

Day in, day out
I'm locked in this goddamn house

I'm like a tree without leaves
No conscience, no emotions
I'm no human being

The shine on my car
Reminds me of the sparkles in your eyes
The colour of the flowers
Reminds me your beautiful hair
The sun itself
Reminds me your unforgetable smile

I take some pills
It helps me sleep
Sometimes I take it in liquid
But it helps me sleep
This time I took Doxylamine
In the end I was dead
But it helped me sleep

Something I wrote out of boredom.

I'm walking here
On the grounds of my hometown
Speaking my mother language

But, nobody understands me
Or maybe they are just excluding me
Everyone is so mean and cruel
I don't understand what I am doing
Right here, right now, at this very moment

I'm walking here
On the grounds of my hometown
Speaking my mother language

The ICE comes and takes me away
They say I don't have any citizenship
But that can't be true
I was just elected president yesterday

I don't understand this
I don't understand this at all
I don't understand what I am doing here
Right here, right now, at this very moment

I'm walking here
On the grounds of my hometown
Speaking my mother language

I though about anhour aor a suitable title for this song, but didn't ome up with any ideas. So if anyone has an idea please hesitate to share.