Sooo I haven't written in a while. Here's a few mess arounds.

I am just posting some things I wrote up real quick. They are sayings or rhymes that I put down but never use. They aren't great, I haven't roughed them down yet, but you can help! So critique away!

Life goes on if you let it
But I don’t want it to without you.

Mistakes is how we learn
But I’ve learned that there is no me without you.

I don’t believe in Second Chances
But I hope I can make a believer out of you

Apologies don’t heal the pain
But it’s the only thing I can say to you.

Trust can only be broken once.
But I’m hoping I can gain it twice

Love is a battlefield
But I’ll never surrender

I just wanted you to know something before you left…

I’ll never hurt you again,
But I know I did, I don’t pretend.

I love you, don’t ever think anything different
I always will, cus the broken heart has no ailment.

So I ask you to stay, I sit down and pray that everything will be okay. But if you say you have to go, then I’ll know, Your tired of giving me a try, When all I do is make you cry. So I understand why, you just walk me by, without even a hi. But there’s one thing I didn’t mention in our goodbye. I’ll love you until I die.

So I will keep trying to make things right, even if I keep losing the fight, at the end of the night, it’s all I can do to keep away the fright, that one day you’ll be out of sight.

So if you still love me, I still love you. Lets just be what we used to be, I don’t care what I have to do. I’m going to see this through. So take my hand, we’ll make a plan, nothing else will matter, except our Happily Ever After




I wrote that really fast haha, so its a novel.



#1
Things aren't goin, the way they should be.
I ain't showin, the me you should see.

It’s not right, and it’s just not fair.
I've lost sight, and now I just don't care.

I wish everything could go everyone’s way.
I understand it can't, but can’t understand why I’m the one who has to pay.

I give out advice that I can't take.
By doing so, I'm making myself fake.

I don't know why it’s me he chose.
Will it get better? Nobody knows...
But I hope so.

#3
Solve your problems and face your fears.
Forget everything else and wipe your tears.

Nothing good comes from being so sad.
Why not spend your time being glad?

Live life to the best you can.
And you’ll become a better man.

It is better to give than receive.
It all works out if you just believe.

Work for your dream
Raise your self esteem

Change what you don’t like in life.
And there will be no more strife.

So think for the best.
And forget the rest.


#4
Don’t let the skeletons in your closet keep you from changing clothes.

#5
We feel like adults because we can do whatever we want. We are children because we do childish things.

#6
There once was a blind man who could see his own flaws. This man had the best sight of all.

#7
Love Leads Our Very Existence.

#8
I bottle my emotion and throw it to the ocean we call Love.

#9
Our mistakes define us, our past reminds us, and our personality designs us.

#10
Its good to help others, as long as you don’t forget yourself.

#11
Live like a star and you become one. Live like everyone's how to get you, and they'll get you.

#12
Learn from the past so you can prepare for the future. If you don’t fix the errors of the past, history will repeat itself.

#13
Going in circles is better than standing still

#14
Life is yours, don’t let me, him, or her change it for you.

#15
The knife in the back has pierced the heart, now everything is falling apart. Pick up the pieces and put them together, for it can’t stay broken forever.

Feedback Por Favor

First of all, I didn't really like the part where you say

"I don’t believe in Second Chances
But I hope I can make a believer out of you"

You are talking like if you were son of god (no offense)
And that she was the daughter of the devil
Or vice versa

And secondly, you are first saying that

"But there’s one thing I didn’t mention in our goodbye. I’ll love you until I die."

And then you say,

"So if you still love me, I still love you."

It doesn't make sense cause they are kind of opposite things.

Finally, the ones you have marked #1, #3 and on and on I they are preety good for chorus or for and intro or even just an idea to write lyrics on. (And by the way you missed out #2)

I took out number two because it had nothing to do with this hahah, and I was lazy to change. And I think I can see how you could take the believer part as religious. And when I said "If you still love me, I still love you" I didn't intend it as if you don't love me I don't love you. I can see where the misconception can be made though. Thanks for the feedback!

go rewrite

Hey great songs/quotes! I think they're really clever! The only thing I'm not crazy about is the complete rhmey-ness of it. But overall I think it great!

P.S. Please check-out my song Uncle Sam is dead and comment! But I'm not trying to be mean or anything, I just want some feedback

By the way, what genre were you planning on making this song (rap, country, pop, jazz,?)

I will check your song out! Thanks for the feedback, and I know it has a lot of rhymes, I love rhyming hahah. I also do it to help me get a flow of the song. And I am not sure what genre I would classify it in, I'll just make my own genre