Heart in Fire

VERSE 1
Broken limbs and worn out lungs
Crying out to be healed
Breathing in the pain
The effort still in vain
Bleeding on the inside
Drowning in smoke
Drowning in tears
Drowning in all these fears

CHORUS
And it hurts
This fire deep inside
Slowly spreads and burns
My heart bursts into flames

VERSE 2
Pent up rage to hide the pain
Scratching away my senses
Memory fades away
With every passing day
I can't take this ****ing ****!
Tell me what is happening to me
Is this normal,or is it just happening to me
Help me kill the pain
Before it kills me instead

CHORUS
And it hurts
This fire deep inside
Slowly spreads and burns
My heart bursts into flames

VERSE 3
What the **** have you done to me!?
You're an evil little *****!
The darkness that surrounds you,
Has all come to this!
You're a liar,thief and *****!
I can't take any more!
You're a big,fat,ugly *****!
Why have you done this?
Why have you set fire to this??

CHORUS
And it hurts
This fire deep inside
Slowly spreads and burns
My heart bursts into flames
And with my heart in fire
It's all burning away!
To Ashes!To nothing!

I really like these lyrics... Verse 1 however being my favourite of all... I feel like you need to add a few more lines to your chorus though... Verse 3 is my least favourite by quite some margin and I believe you need to change it completely... I understand that the rage is building up throughout the song and verse 3 is where it all comes out but "your a big, fat, ugly *****" really??... It's gone from a very well written lyric to something a 5 year old would say in an argument... Change verse 3 and you have a great lyric...I think this is something that I would have written that's why it stands out to me

Originally Posted by DarkWhite

I really like these lyrics... Verse 1 however being my favourite of all... I feel like you need to add a few more lines to your chorus though... Verse 3 is my least favourite by quite some margin and I believe you need to change it completely... I understand that the rage is building up throughout the song and verse 3 is where it all comes out but "your a big, fat, ugly *****" really??... It's gone from a very well written lyric to something a 5 year old would say in an argument... Change verse 3 and you have a great lyric...I think this is something that I would have written that's why it stands out to me

thank you! i admit verse 3 was pretty badly done,but i was trying to put as much violence and aggression as possible :\ ill try changing it thanks all the same