You made my soul melt into a shape that fits yours perfectly
You made my days look brighter but my years grow darker
You made me bigger than anything or anyone but now

Bridge:
We're floating down a swirling river and we're near the end
Where are we gonna go?
What are we gonna do?

Chorus:
You're like a stranger
I'm like a stranger
We keep fighting our feelings like they didn't exist
....



It's not a lot yet but i quite liked it. Could you maybe give some feedback and give some tips how to improve it?

Nice beginnings...pls make me understand, is it a 'love-over' song or 'on-off-torrid-love' song?

its good start and if its a love is over/ coming to an end then possibly in the bridge or chorus with the swirling river bit could put in something about a waterfall to signal the crashing and end of the river and relationship

It's about an old realationship but they still have feelings for each other and see each other sometimes.. This song is about a boy who is kind of a player but he gets feeling for the girl he plays and when she dumps him, they still have feelings for each other.. it's kind of difficult to explain ;P But thanks for the feedback

You made my soul melt into a shape that fits yours perfectly

I've been looking at songs all day, and this is the best line I've seen.

Awh thank you You really motivated me to make an actual song out of it. I'll post it when its finished

Hi Anna! As I want to hear more it means you made me curious and that's in this case a good sign.
I therefore THANK you and sincerely hope you'll continue it.
I particularly like the chorus- no more words needed.
It's the core of the song/poem and therefore it should agree with the rest of the lyrics.
But that's my humble opinion.
Nice to meet you!

Hi, thanks so much for your feedback
This is my first actual song ever and i'm so happy that you like it so much.
I've changed the chorus a little:

Why do you keep pretending that none of that was real
Why do you keep denying the feelings that we used to have
Or was it just me, thinking i would be great enough,
thinking i would be pretty enough to ever be loved by you

Which one do you prefer?

I agree, the first line is beautiful. I like your revised chorus, i would just suggest something like this to make it flow a little better (of course if you have something in mind for how its gonna sound, my suggestion is pointless):

"Why do you keep pretending that none of that was real?
Why do you keep denying the feelings that we used to feel?
Or was it just me, thinking i would be good enough?
thinking i would be pretty enough...
to ever be loved by you?"

Do with it what you will, I just prefer rhyming great start, can't wait to see the finished product!

Oh thank you! I love it! Ahh i'm so happy I'm going to start making an actual song out of it. I'll post it on soundcloud when it's done

The song so far, i've changed the bridge a little:
You made my soul melt into a shape that fits yours perfectly
You made my days look brighter but my years grow so much darker
You made me bigger than anything or anyone but now

Bridge:
We're floating down a swirling river
But i ain't so strong
to keep us safe
soon we will be drowning
cause of our own mistake

Chorus:
"Why do you keep pretending that none of that was real?
Why do you keep denying the feelings that we used to feel?
Or was it just me, thinking i would be good enough?
thinking i would be pretty enough...
to ever be loved by you?"

And i made this tab up:


e|--------------------------------------------------------------------------|
B|--------------------------------------------------------------------------|
G|-----4-------7--------9---------9-----7------4----------------------------|
D|--------------------------------------------------------------------------|
A|--------------------------------------------------------------------------|
E|-----3-------7--------8---------8-----7------3----------------------------|