This skin.
A shell and empty void
It's all that's left, and all I feel
Emotionally destroyed
This carcass.
Bones bleached white by sun
Nothing left but skeletons,
You're just another one.
All that's left is desiccated
Another life's been devastated
By inner strength overestimated
Emotions forever stained
This husk.
Its all that's left to see
You see it's cracks, and watch it crumble
There's nothing left of me
All that's left is dessicated
Another life's been devastated
By inner strength overestimated
Emotions forever stained
I don't know if I can come back
With a heart that's crushed and black
Sanity about to crack
I'm forever stained
All that's left is dessicated
Another life's been devastated
By inner strength overestimated
Emotions forever stained
I'm forever stained
*edited based on feedback and consideration
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Stained
Last edited by farnum; 01-12-2015 at 02:31 AM.
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+I see that you have kept up with the 'awesome title' and 'wide vocabulary' aspect in your third lyric.
Maybe you should consider revising the "Nothing left but skeletons, stripped clean of everything" in the second verse. It is kind of long compared to the others. Maybe put "You're just another one" somewhere else and replace it with "stripped clean of everything"
That was my only suggestion.
I am amazed by your good lyrics.-
+To imagine is everything, to know is nothing at all.>A.France
Oh yeah, I forgot, and always expect the unexpected.-
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I was trying something new. I guess what I had in my head doesnt really come across in a post. I was reading every third verse line at a faster pace than the rest. This is just a first draft though. Changes will happen and I'll keep your thoughts in mind when they do. Thanks for the feedback!
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There is some really great imagery in this piece.
~Kerri Faye