Insects

Just wrote this kinda quick so its definitely not finished, but gimme your thoughts and some ideas please, thanks!

Insects

Insects squirm under my skin,
Maggots consume my brain from within.
Pests tearing through my flesh,
Poking holes turning it into mesh.
The odor makes this tight space so vile,
And I’m stuck here for quite awhile.

My new home,
this wooden box.
Deaths black dome,
Under dirt and rocks

My corpse is numb but my souls aware,
watches my body rot with despair.
The casket starts to wear and crack,
Soil and worms crawl down my back.
The earth it starts to erode,
It crushes my not so humble abode.

Too many rhyming couplets in a small space. I'd personally use less.

They're good death metal lyrics but I cant imagine them being much else.

More goregrind than death metal... Death metal is more about the dethroneing of obsticles from your life...