If I could

When I wake up
And when I go to sleep
You’re always on my mind
Cause once I saw you
I felt love flowing through my veins

If I could give you the love I feel for you
If I could taste your sweet lips when I kiss you
If I could be the man you want me to be
If I could...

I wanna see you smile
I wanna hear you laugh
Oh, I can’t take it any longer
It tears my heart apart
Take my hand
And whisper in my ear
I want you

If I could give you the love I feel for you
If I could taste your sweet lips when I kiss you
If I could be the man you want me to be
If I could...

It would have to be very slow to fit. I can't really say much more about this than it's not original. It's been done before, but then again I suppose most songs are like that. With a good melody, who knows, it may be quite good.

Keep it up.

Yeah, I agree 100% on rabbitdrive's comment. The "If I could part" was a good title and get's some one's attention, the chorus is vivid and nice, but the only thing that really worried me was that the whole song doesn't rhyme well, and that's one of the whole points of songs and poetry. It would be a lot better if you got it to rhyme in just a few places. But this song is so sweet and straight forward. I like that. Just keep trying. you have so much potential. keep it up. It's good.

thank you

Originally Posted by Acheramee

Yeah, I agree 100% on rabbitdrive's comment.

AH! Just call me Ben. :P