It's very long.I zoned out for a few days after my mom passed away and wrote a semi rap/hip-hop song.Not anything hardcore.



A music note it plays
takes my breath away
till i stay awake for days and days..
only at night shall i rest asleep.

because i know in the back of my mind some day God will come for me..
and it does hurt me to agree
with so many things going wrong within me...
honestly why do i breathe..



Some nights i lay awake.

singing to myself hush little baby
still i have my hands clinched tight as the way i fell asleep.

i still have my own hands choking me.....
can't you see???
if i could be honest in this then what would could i say?
i don't think they have words to express this here day.

and i don't believe in hate no i throw that sh** away..
i always find a path to walk down no i want stray.

for better of for worst i still have a mind alone for all others it prays.


Dear God i could hate him so he took my mom my life and soul
now i lay awake cold as cold can be still begging him to give back what he stole from me..
dear God i prayed so many times
i've spilled out my heart why does it feel like i'm blind?
i told you all of every little time..
i can be what you need so ask what you ask..take what you see...or just let me be.....

I bundle up by a picture of us
take myself back to a time with so much trust
it was in my heart to just give it out
also in a way to spit it out
ooo i have a mind that just thinks words
and o so many that just kill me to blurt
i feel lost dead and alone i know i'm no ghost i've just strayed from home.....


For every feeling there's a verse that come's spilling out and it hurts
for every chance there was a turn i missed my move gotta start back at what point one or two?
what do i need to ask of myself?
thought i knew what i had to and already felt what i've felt
but i'm so bizzy being blinded i almost lose hope
at the cause is a fear and it contains me i already know....
o God how'd i like to be the one out there
wishing them a good night before i fade off,i'd do it if you brought her back...not just to make the devil happy because its not like that...

No i would never take my life before its my time
i have to much faith why have the time to go blind?
i seek not an end of all time,nor do i seek to destroy a love that is fine...
i am not dumb nor have i lost my mind....
i just think that its time i express my life...........

So i'll let them know what erks me so
before i pass my chance and just let it go.i want no there's just to much for them to know. no i could never ditch my own friends in my battles that i picked and chose..o God i just wish they could know........


I take a look around me and what do i see.

i see so many things that just cripple me honestly
across from the house where i sleep at lay a grave where she rest at.

how do i let it escape my mind. do i even have enough in me??just tell me...
i can not lie to myself no i'm unworthy....



O people just see me wrong they don't give me a second to inlist
no the army marches on without me
why,why do they do this so blatantly.

for all the world not just for me to see
.
cause people have problems just like i do
i don't blame them nor claim for them as fools...i know its just not what you would do..........

* i have lost my spot
i thought i heard the music playin but it stopped.

i thought i heard her voice buts its Not...
i try to take air in but its to hot.

i can't make up good feelings on the spot
i am not trying to conceal this no i am not
i have more than just a inch in me
i have more than just one thing to see
my hearts still beating its beating within me
my eyes still try and see,see as you see.

my days are as numbers as this here person standing next to me.

i will be honest and try to make it through this
i will be thoughtful before i decide to be careless
i can pass your test i know this
i'm just blessed to be given second chances*

Cause when the music stops
so does the world clock.

no not even a tiny tick. or a tock
just silence rather you hear it or not
no nothing lives on when the music stops..................

I have a note living within
a sad face that would love to grin.

so many things i know i know i did them in sin.

how could i start to tell and where do i begin.

i just hate when things get taken the wrong way.

it kills me you know it makes me want to just throw the pen away.




I am no longer a stray i fret not
i hold myself up to what i've got
even if its just a chance to escape this spot
i can't live where she doesn't forever
i cant do things always for myself to get better
no other people allotted breath also need to test.

and be thrown my way to bring out my best.

i can't ask for to much no i cant handle getting things off of my chest.

i'd just rather watch them sit there and rest.

hide them,lock'em up within thy chest..
honestly to everyone there i'm under dis stress.



------------------


Yeah in a moments notice the world can change
Then your left alone and cold and looking for someone to blaim.

I've been in that boat cursed all of your names,but this game remained the same not like the oceans currents had changed,when the wind blows it still feels the same............Though in your heart of hearts you swear its changed.You wake up feeling the strain of having to keep it moving never stopping winning or losing forward motion no matter your emotions no matter what they told you,just listen to the music,the music that saves you,the rhythm let it take to a place let it raise you cause when the music stops so does the world clock......