first one posted...must look>>>>COMMENT ON THNX

this is just one verse....

my eyes are looking out for me
so i will always find my dreams
ill put my life up in this beat
then im making it a track
now everbodys looking back
on the life they use to have
but im letting mine off my shoulders and leaving it in the past
wish upon a star and yes im believing
its like my life is bleeding
cuz i spilt it on the mic
aint no cleaning up the mess cuz thats the price
of letting it all go
but before u plan it though
u should always know
that chasing dreams aint easy
nor breezy
i been practing for a lifetyme
the beat is my heart and my lyrics and my lifeline
youll never take this away
im reaching for the stars everysingle day
i know im space bound
my life used to be lost but now i know their found
so ill keep living on till the day that i die
but nothing is perfect so ill keep my eyes wide


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just tell watcha think thnnx

I love the last two lines of this! The whole this is very good. In some places, it doesn't flow so easily, like maybe a syllable or two could be removed. But other than that, it reads naturally with a beat. Nicely written!