Dance (Upon the moon)

And i know what it feels like
To be so alone and
The things that I'm feeling
are changing perspective.

I'm begining to feel that
your not telling me the truth.
Insane to you
but probable.

Could it be that your motives aren't right?
Or is it my own stupidity.
Come with me late at night
We'll dance upon the moon and talk things out
Dance upon the moon and talk things out.

Your eyes as they stare
Tell me somethings not right.
Your hands as they shake
Portray the pain inside
Your heart
Shining glory light
Run on through the night
and fight
it out.
Just run on through the night
and fight it out.

[(Not sure if i'm adding this part in yet or not. any suggustions as to whether i should or it would make the song too lengthy)
I cant believe that your still killing me
With your soft brown eyes
I feel like I'm sinking
Deep into your mind.
I'm scared to know what
Your really thinking.]

Could it be that your motives aren't right?
Is it just my own stupidity?
Come with me late at night
We'll dance upon the moon and talk things out.
Dance upon the moon and talk things out.

Starting the dry spin
I don't know what to do.
You're all over me and I'm screaming in pain
But you dont care about me
You never cared about me
Just used and abused me
I'm failing....slowly
failing...ooh...slowly

(slow to start up)
Could it be that your motives aren't right?
I'm right that they aren't
and i feel so ashamed now
Come with me late at night
We'll dance upon the moon and talk things out
Dance upon the moon and talk things out
I'll dance upon the moon and talk things out
Dance upon the moon and forgive myself

I find this song as really creative and clever by the metaphors and usage of dialogue-like lyrics of hate-love relationship, something that more artists ae trying to do, authenticate their music. I will leave with a 8.7/10, might it been more inspiring.

This is a nice piece of work I think, with some good twists (paradox within paradox?) that bring together what you seem to want to get across. Groping or guessing for basic truth, and yeah, real truth comes down to motive. But this also makes me think (realize) that sometimes people don't even know themselves, or maybe more simply, they can't quite say why they took a certain path, or why they do what they do. Anyway I'm just saying I like this because it does a good job of taking a big picture and trying to connect all the dots, but that's always a really really big job, and I think you did good with this.

PS: Yes that part that you're not sure about, I think it's very important. I think you should leave it in.

I like MoonRide42's insight. He takes the words from me, I suppose I am really enjoying your writing style and metaphor usage. I am looking forward to more.

Great minds think alike Nanashi

Thanks this was actually the first full song i ever wrote...i came up with it on the spot...but it really describes what i was going through at the time within myself. Although i only realized that after.

and about that part, thanks, i thought it was important too, but ive been wrestling with keeping it or not keeping it...i think i will ^^