Just a small box

Thread: Just a small box

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  1. khit said:

    Default Just a small box

    Little boy seems confuse
    Coz The world seems so dusty
    With hates and screams

    From his room he can hear
    The yell of mom and dad
    So he walks calmly to the back door

    Coz the warehouse in the yard
    Has a box that fits him and his heart
    It is clean and it is warm
    A castle for toys in his arm
    He sits and hugs his legs
    He feels secure and safe
    Just a small box, but he feels home

    Just a small key hole
    Enough to take a look
    Of the fight from the people he loves

    Without blinking
    He covers the scene
    And walk calmly to the back door



    Coz in the warehouse in the yard
    There’s box that fits him and his heart
    It is clean and it is warm
    A castle for toys in his arm
    He sits and hugs his legs
    He feels secure and safe
    Just a small box, but he feels home

    Just a small box, but this is his home

    The rain is getting heavier
    But he smiles, doesn’t care
    Coz he feels safe and secure
    In this small box, he feels happier
    Than he used to be
    Just a small box, but he knows
    The rain wont scared him at all
     
  2. MoonRide*r*'s Avatar

    MoonRide*r* said:

    Default

    This is great khit, it really grabs me. I would just want to make a couple of grammatical improvements, maybe like this:

    Of the fight from the people he loves
    At the fight between the people he loves

    Overall this says something really important, and I think it says it very well.
    There is no glamour in sudden death, and nobody ever wins a war.
    :
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