Alrite im totally new to the rap scene and i just wrote my third rap tell me what u think and criticisim is welcomed
Im a yung tuner
Constantly chasin that money no days off i aint Ferris Buelller
**** wit me and I'll be quick to blow u to pieces like a match to a fueler
I'm the ****in hottest but still aint nuthin cooler
All types of burners 'round me
not a word but i guess I'm a tooler
Cuz I'm comin at your neck so try not to flinch
Take u off your game u on a mutha****in bench
Always killin *****s got that dead body stench
Better go choose another dude to **** wit for u end up in a trench
Put u wack *** dudes in a clinch
Between a rock and a hard place
Your brain cavity is just tard space
And i would hate for it to have to end this way
But seeing I am no longer welcome I'll have to end my stay
I'm eatin and u just got served up on a silver tray
Mess around and I'll show u that semi is quick to come out and play
Now pause for a minute while I roll up this J
Not the best but can u guys give me a few pointers???
Thnx
Tags:
None
-
Need Help!!!!! and insight
-
Well, I think the rhymes are goodish, but I feel the flow is kinda out, like one minute you've got really long lines and then suddenly really short lines and sometimes I don't think your rhymes flow enough. What I think you should try (if you don't already) is writing to a beat cos I find that does wonders for your flow
-
Yeah, Jfam is right, it doesn't flow. I don't really like the rhymes either, it's not clever or anything and it doesn't show if you're capable of rapping or not.
1 <3