First Rap...opinions?

this is the first Rap i wrote in class haha like 30mins i guess. kind of need a chorus but let me kno what you think

Lyrically i spit
yea i smell cus im the s**t,
and yea i drop lines
then i drop rhymes,
then i ll explode on the scene like a landmine
i do what i do just trying to get mine
if i fall i ll get back up cus im fine,
imma grow and succeed watch me fly
as i head straight to the top...call it the sky,
you can try but trust you aint gon' stop this
cus imma hit and i aint gon' miss,
i ll never forget where i came from
beat in my head pounding on the drum,
imma pour my heart and sould into every song
i feel im here to tell everyone to keep on strong
if im right then im right but im sorry if im wrong
now just listen to the chorus of my song,


Chrous (X2)
imma get there,
imma get there,
imma get there
soon you ll be like damn hes here


Im not ur average rapper, more of a lyricist
i ll make you feel ur listening to ur therapist,
my thoughts pour like a non-stop stream
still on a mission...chasing the dream,
I hope happiness is all i bring
haters will put you down but just do ur thing,
call me kobe bryant...chasing the ring
game over time for the fat b**ch to sing
i love the rap game like that b**ch my offspring,
I love it when i hear people doubting me
cus those are the one that help me succeed,
Now close ur eyes and listen to my story
A champion is all about guts and glory,
i see life as a blessing and not a deed
so open ur eyes cus its time for everyone to breath,

Chrous
Imma get there,
imm get there,
imma get there
soon you ll be like damn hes here

It's good, you have rhyming at the ends of lines down, now work on more complex rhymes... You don't HAVE to rhyme at the end of every line:

I'm great at rhymes
I'm always in time
They throw you into the abyss
You're really easy to dismiss

After a while it gets stale, try rhyming within the lines, like this:

My rhymes are so fine, in time and refined
Must I constantly remind you of this
by grinding you into the abyss?
I dismiss you contaminate you and regulate you
I hit you strong like a freight train
I put pain into you without even using my fists, it's hard to miss
These words coming at you like a righteous proverb
My rhymes are preferred, and they're absurdly superb

Keep writing, a little bit everyday, and you'll get better, you're pretty good so far already
... I really don't know much else, I haven't been writing very long at all myself... so not much I can help you with

yea thanks man!! i jsut gotta keep practicing....i just started actually writing stuff. i never took it seriously but i just love it so i wanna see if i got some talent! we ll see what happens but thanks man i l take ur advice!

Some other things to try to improve your writing (if you don't do them already):
1. I would write to a beat, I know for a fact that when I started writing to a beat it worked wonders for my flow
2. Be a perfectionist. Basically, if there's bar you've written which you don't think is good or sounds a bit off, then change it because that'll help you improve the quality of your raps
3. What they said above, you could try rhyming in all sorts of different places but be aware; there are 4 beats to a bar and you generally want to hit a rhyme on either the 1,2,3 or 4
4. Just write, writing lots helps a lot